10 things that WILL happen during your first 12 months as a mum
Never in your life will there be a year with so much change, so many milestones, so many "firsts" as the 12 months that follow welcoming your first baby.
It is a year that will challenge and change you in so many ways. A year that will shift your priorities, alter your expectations and shed more than a little light on your previous judgements of other peoples' lives and choices (which you didn't even realise you had before now!).
Motherhood Year #1 is hands down the hardest, most tiring, nerve wracking and yet most wonderful year you will ever go through, and if you would like a little insight into what you really can expect, here are ten things that you can absolutely bank on happening at some stage during these crazed 12 months:
1. You WILL cry
Hormones, sleep deprivation, returning to work, love, there are plenty of reasons the first year of motherhood very often involves a lot of tears.
2. You WILL panic
I will never quite get over the first time each of my babies managed to roll themselves (despite being practically immobile otherwise) off the bed and hit the floor with that heart-stopping thud. They were fine in the end, but I aged 10+ each time.
3. You WILL feel like Superwoman
The first time you manage to make yourself scrambled eggs or apply mascara while also clutching your baby to your chest (as you don't want to disturb his/her feed) is just one of those occasions when you realise just how flipping amazing us mums are.
4. You WILL doubt your abilities
These days, when you are inundated with parenting advice and blogs and digital column inches and beautifully edited Instagram feeds every waking moment of your day, it can be easy to compare yourself to what everyone else is doing and feel like a failure by how easy – and stunning – they make it all look.
But know this: Every parent everywhere is asking themselves the same questions you are and wondering if they are doing it right. Some just hide the panic better than others. You are doing great.
5. You WILL start finding new things relaxing
It's amazing how much life with a new baby gives you a whole new perspective of things. Going to the supermarket alone or visiting the dentist will feel like a little holiday now that you are a mum.
6. You WILL develop an extreme hatred for anyone who parks in a 'Parent And Child' space with no baby
Or, indeed, anyone who uses a lift through sheer laziness – parents with prams have NO CHOICE YOU LAZY B**TARDS! You get the point.
7. You WILL take showers so quick you'll barely get wet at all
Funny how the minute you step foot in the shower you will start hearing babies cry – real cries or phantom cries, they'll make you hurry through that shower regardless.
8. You WILL eat a chocolate bar or leftover slice of cake for breakfast
What?! Do you really think parents of a newborn actually have time to pour cereal into a bowl?
9. You WILL develop obsessive thoughts about your pelvic floor (or lack thereof)
Am I doing it right? Should it feel that exhausting? How many times did I squeeze and release today? What happens if you forget to do them for three months straight (you know, just asking for a, eh, friend...)
10. You WILL want your own mum
Never will you realise just how much you love your mum as when you become a mum yourself.