Freaky Friday, the story of a teenager and her mother switching places should have been a film with a bit of heartwarming family bants, but instead there was actually way too much 'freaky' involved.
A far more successful, less creepy, and arguably funnier premise would've been a mum switching places with her baby. Then we could have enjoyed watching an 8-month-old navigating the grown-up world of office politics, bad traffic and laundry, while mum gets a well-deserved break.
And let's face it who among us hasn't wished we could switch places with our kids from time to time/most days?
10 Times I Wanted To Switch Places With My Child:
1. Morning time
While I frantically run around with one leg in a pair of tights, cajoling him to eat his breakfast while probably preparing a second breakfast for His Majesty, the toddler, I can't help but think how much more fun a morning he is having. All he has to do is calmly and serenely amuse himself by thwarting my every attempt to get out the door. Just once I'd like to give that a go.
2. Nap time
Not a nap time goes by that I don't reflect on how much I wish that he was tucking me in for a lovely nap, and yet there he is fighting the nap every step of the way. "You fool," I want to tell him, "you should be soaking this up, the rest of your life will be spent wishing you could go have a nap!"
3. Buggy time
Seriously, what issue do they have with being pushed around in what is essentially a mini throne with wheels? What I wouldn't give to switch places and have him ferry me everywhere.
4. Play time
The ball pit and squishy slides just look awesome, like a fun factory for kids. "I wish I could fit in there," I often catch myself musing at the baby play centre. It looks like major craic.
5. Nap time (Again!)
Seriously kid, you're getting TWO naps a day! I have no idea what you're complaining about.
6. Dinner time
I would love to be my son at a meal. Imagine just stroppily rejecting what you've been given, only to have the 6ft idiot in charge make a new dinner for you to reject. And then screaming and lashing out and only accepting food from whatever plate in the vicinity is NOT yours. It seems like great fun.
7. Bath time
So let me get this straight, babies: Every night someone runs you a bath and washes your hair and warms your pjs so that they are lovely and toasty before bed, and you have a problem with this... why?
8. Winding time
It may seem like the height of laziness (and I am really, really lazy) but I get indigestion too, and I'd actually really welcome someone winding me after I've over-indulged on a wheel of cheese and a bottle of Merlot.
9. Tantrum time
You know how many times a day I'd like to pitch a fit? Probably at least once an hour. When a driver gestures for me to get across the road faster with my toddler and my buggy. Or someone stands too close behind me in a queue. While I'm watching my son having a tantrum in the biscuit aisle of the supermarket... all I'm thinking is "let's switch." You finish the food shop, and I'm just gonna lie down here and have a level 10 meltdown.
10. Night time
When I can't sleep, I lie there worrying with my eyes closed. When my son can't sleep he just makes it everyone else's problem, we must minister to his every whim and niche request until some esoteric thing like a different colour lid on his bottle satisfies him and he can drift back to sleep.
I think this confirms it, I definitely want to live my life as a baby.
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