A grandmother reveals one phrase not to say to their grandchildren
The language we use around children can be very impactful, from parents or even grandparents to their grandchildren.
And though sometimes we might say something we think won’t leave a negative impact, one grandmother says otherwise.
DeeDee, known as @morethangrand, posted on TikTok to share that asking their grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents can be very harmful:
“Let me be clear, asking grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents crosses a line that should never be crossed.”
“Picture this, you give your grandchild an extra cookie and say ‘don’t tell mommy’ seems harmless, doesn’t it? It’s not.”
DeeDee explains that saying this is asking your grandchildren to lie to their parents:
“Children need to know that they can tell their parents anything, and you’ve just taught them the opposite.”
According to DeeDee, saying this phrase can:
@morethangrand That 'harmless' request to keep a secret? It's not harmless at all. Here's what every grandparent needs to understand about why secrets from parents are never okay. Teaching children that they should keep secrets from their parents: 🔴Undermines trust between parent and child 🟢Creates confusion about honesty 🔵Mirrors predatory behavior patterns 🔴Weakens family communication Instead of secret-keeping, try transparent communication with the parents about boundaries and special treats. Remember: If you can't do it openly, don't do it at all. For more ways to create healthy connection with your grandchild, sign up for our weekly emails from the link on my page! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting ♬ original sound – MoreThanGrand
- Undermines trust between parent and child
- Creates confusion about honesty
- Mirrors predatory behaviour patterns
- Weakens family communication
“A child’s safety can depend on open communication with their parents.”
“Encouraging secret keeping is exactly how predators operate, you don’t want to normalise that.”
DeeDee advises that you should do one key thing…. to respect parents’ rules:
“If you can’t do something openly, don’t do it at all. You’re relationship with your grandchild should strengthen their family bonds, not weaken them.”
