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19th Jun 2020

10 words you never knew you needed in your vocabulary until you had kids

Trine Jensen-Burke

Never mind just emojis –motherhood is such a complex experience, we also need actual new words to describe our #momlife too.

According to a study commissioned by, 84 percent of parents frequently use ‘mumspeak’ and more than a third (35 percent) of mothers admit to using the secret slang so their child doesn’t understand what they really mean.

We don’t know about you, but we have totally incorporated the below words into our new mum vocabulary:

1. Poonami

Well, this one is rather self explanatory, no…?

2. Sniff Test

You know – when you want to check if your baby actually have done a #2 without the debacle of having to undress and check inside the nappy…

3. Velcro Baby

Super-clingy baby who just wants to be held/carried/bounced by mum at all times.

4. Mum Bun

Ah – our now collective go-to hairstyle, genius for hiding anything from greasy roots…

5. Threenager

You think the ‘Terrible Twos’ are terrible? Just wait until you have a threenager on your hands…

6. Mombie

Us – on most days. An exhausted mum who is half dead from lack of sleep.

7. iParenting

Resorting to using a screen so you can have five goddamn minutes to pee alone…

8. Car-mageddon

Remember how pristine your car was pre-kids? Not anymore.

9. The Handover

When your partner gets in from work and you hand (*throw) the baby to them.

10. Musical Beds

Like the game with chairs, only this one is performed in the dead of the night and refers to when kids, then adults change beds all night.