You know, when kids aren’t throwing tantrums at the supermarket or deliberately leaving Lego blocks on the stairs for you to maim yourself with, they can be pretty damn funny.
Jacob is four and at risk of forgetting all the hilarious quotes and questions he comes out with at this glorious toddler age, I am listening very closely and writing them down.
Here are 14 of his best moments from the past week:
1. Question: Why are snakes so long?
I actually didn’t know the answer to this one so passed it over to Alan who promptly explained about their stomachs and digestion and.. I zoned out. Which is why I still know nothing about snakes.
2. Question: Why do we have brains?
Answer: to tell your arms to give your sister hugs. (I was particularly proud of myself for that one)
3. Question: Did you know our house is on Planet Earth?
Answer: Yes, but I think we should teach you your actual address too, just in case you ever get lost
4. Families must never give up, remember? Just keep trying and you will make a Lego skyscraper
I was sort of hoping that would end with ‘..and you will win the Lotto’, but anyway..
5. Mindfulness is clearing our busy heads before lunchtime
They practice mindfulness with the kids in his pre-school every day. I could seriously do with a few lessons myself!
6. I love you so much because you’re so, so warm, mammy
I will take that compliment and I will bring you in for a bear hug
7. I’m kissing my sister because I really want a Ninja Turtle hideout from Santa
Well played, Jacob. Well played.
8. Mammy Fynes, anseo!
I like that he is learning some Irish in school, I’m not sure about his identifying as his own granny though!
9. I really want you to get married so that we can go to Disney
We might have (foolishly) mentioned that a trip to Disney Land might be in order after next year’s wedding – guess we won’t get away with changing our minds now!
10. I think we should ask the builders to make my room bigger so we can get everyone’s bed in here
We are getting an extension built onto the house next year but it so will NOT include the addition of one big family room. I want my bed back!
11. But don’t let the builders knock that wall down (pointing) because all my Superhero stickers are there
Thank you for clarifying, son
12. Mammy you are smoking.
(I had a mild panic about my smoking past and nervously asked ‘what do you mean?)
Jacob’s answer: because you’re soooo hot.
Um, awkward..
What funny things have your kids said lately? Let us know in the comments!
