My 14-year-old stepson has his girlfriend sleep over – and I'm not sure how I feel
When our children become teenagers, it might just be a matter of time before their very first crush turns into an actual teenage relationship.
And while this is a perfectly normal part of growing up – how we approach many matters around this as parents may differ. And this might be an even more complicated issue if we are raising a blended family, where rules may differ from house to house and parent to parent.
An Australian mum recently shared with Kidspot that she is struggling with the fact that her partner's son, who is just 14, is allowed to have his 16-year-old girlfriend over for sleepovers.
"I am part of a blended family,"she writes.
"My partner's son is 14yo and his 16yo girlfriend sleeps over most weekends (sharing the same bed) and her visits are becoming more frequent during the week. Call me a prude but I don't believe this is acceptable. It also feels like we can't do anything as a family unit without her tagging along and I am becoming increasingly frustrated."
To make matters worse, the mum says she also shares a 14-year-old daughter with her partner, but it seems her partner has a different rule for her.
"I have a 14yo daughter with my partner and he has already said that there is no way he would allow our daughter to carry on the way these two have been… but how can he apply two different rules?"
Sounds a little strange? I know. And it seems their daughter agrees.
"My daughter is already calling him on it," the mum writes.
"This creates friction between us as he likes to please his son and doesn't say no to him. My partner also drives around left, right and centre to accommodate his son's social life, dropping off and picking up his son and girlfriend (this is a 1 hour round trip) leaving me at home looking after 5 other children."
She says as a family, they sometimes miss out on things as her partner's son is demanding so much of his attention.
"We also miss out on things because of this driving around - simple moments like afternoon walks together. I had to drive away from a family gathering yesterday when he said “I know this will upset you, but the girlfriend is coming today."
Understandably, this situation is causing problems.
"I am now at a point of resenting the son and his girlfriend. Am I overreacting and just need to accept the ups and downs of a blended family?"
What would YOU do? How would you feel about teenage sleepovers?