

The children were nestled all snug in their beds until they had to pee get a drink show me they can whistle and ask me if birds have teeth.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) December 20, 2016
The most challenging part of Christmas is staying up later than my kids to put the presents out.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 30, 2017
Christmas break isn't so bad since the sound of your kids fighting over their new toys is drowned out by the vacuum sucking up pine needles.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 21, 2016
Kids are at each other’s throats, I haven’t picked anything for my mother in law yet, my 7yo has stopped using words and only speaks to me in various tones of “beep” and “boop” and I haven’t wrapped a single gift. December is never going to end, is it?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 16, 2018
Dear Santa,
All we want for Christmas is a silent night. Love, Parents — It'sReally10Months (@really10months) December 6, 2018
It’s not really Christmas until I’ve brought out my mom’s vintage “I WILL TAKE BACK ALL OF YOUR PRESENTS” threats.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 17, 2018
Kid: Why is our elf so lazy?
Me: Maybe she’s tired after cooking, cleaning, and doing all the laundry. Kid: What? Me: What? — MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) December 13, 2018
me [putting sons toy together] I don’t think *looks at instructions* *looks at box* Yeah, buddy, it’s not supposed to be on fire like that
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 20, 2017
I just put 'one minute of sleep' on my Amazon Wish List. It's currently unavailable.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) December 18, 2017
My son announced a plan to "trap" Santa that involves cookies and wine and I was like not gonna lie that shit will absolutely work
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 20, 2017
[Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” comes on]
6: Ugh, I hate this song! Me: Why? 6: Because she says “I don’t care about the presents”, and that’s ridiculous. — Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) December 15, 2017
How to Decorate a Christmas Tree When You Have Kids:
1. Unpack ornament 2. Drop repeatedly until it shatters into a million pieces 3. Repeat — Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 15, 2018
Me shopping: something to wear something to read, something u want, something u need
5's list: something loud, something loud, something lo — Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 13, 2015
3-year-old: *finishes watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"*
Me: What did you learn? 3-year-old: How to get all the presents. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 24, 2015
Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 1, 2018