Search icon


30th Aug 2016

33 Signs You’re a Mammy (In Case the Kids Aren’t a Dead Giveaway!)


Just 33 things every Mom can relate to…

1. You buy an extra pack of baby wipes to clean up random spills, window sills and your entire bathroom…

2. A twenty-minute shower with a locked door feels like a day at the spa.

3. When you have an audience while showering, shouting the most awkward of questions.

4. You often finish up showering with only one leg shaved and frequently have unwashed conditioner in your hair.

5. You can’t see the floor of your car.

6. You re-define “sleeping-in” to any time past 7am.

7. An early night is going to bed the same time as your children.

8. You have reheated your tea or coffee in the microwave for the 100th time.

9. Your kids see you naked more than your other half.

10. Going to do the weekly shopping is like taking a vacation.

11. You forgot to put the wheelie bin out AGAIN.

12. You will never be able to sort, process or print all the photo’s you have taken.

13. You’ve been washing the same load of laundry for the third day in a row because you keep forgetting to dry them.

14. You can do almost anything with one hand.

15. You consider time on Facebook as spending time with your friends.

16. You mop the floor, even though you know the kids are guaranteed to spill something.

17. Your home is covered in valuable pieces of artwork that didn’t cost you a thing.

18. You get poop on your hands, and you don’t even flinch.

19. Everything you do is an adventure.

20. Your kids use your smartphone more than you do.

21. There is nothing more excruciating than standing on Lego or a kinder surprise toy.

22. You no longer laugh at the parents of ‘Hurricane Hell Raising Children’ TV programme on Channel 4.

23. You will spend most of your days with a howling resident on the bottom step of your stairs.

24. Counting to three will be your most commonly used phrase.

25. There is a finger in your ears, nose or mouth, and it’s not yours.

26. You prefer cuddling and kids movies to hitting pubs and clubs.

27. You have discovered the miracle of YouTube Kinder Surprise videos.

28. Picking up a baby and sniffing their butt is not only normal, it’s necessary.

29. You don’t speak with adults but S-P-E-L-L.

30. You have convinced your kids that hoovering is a game.

31. Receiving hand-me-downs is like winning the lotto.

32. You save lives on a daily basis.

33. Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience that never ceases to amaze, and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Kellie Kearney is an Irish mammy and an award-winning Parenting Blogger. A SATM to one fairy-loving five-year-old, an adventurous one-year-old and is expecting a baby girl in August (viral pregnancy announcement). She shares the up and downs of parenting, pregnancy and life as a SATM. Kellie can be found on her blog, Facebook, Twitter @MyLittleBabog or on Instagram


guest blogger