There is a light at the end of the tunnel, folks.
The early years of parenthood, incredible though they are, are nothing short of manic.
Coming out the other side of it, I’m happy to report that it does get easier in lots ways.
1. No more buggy struggles
No more pushing. Prams, buggies, and double strollers be gone. Never again you vow to yourself, as you watch some poor unfortunate newbies struggle to fold or re-assemble their complicated ‘travel system’. Bye-bye to waiting for the overpriced contraption to arrive at the plane door. Adiós to desperately scanning buildings for a lift or waiting for some good Samaritan to help you carry the bloody thing up a flight of stairs. Ah yes, the sweet smell of freedom.
2. Activities are way better craic
Wanna spend this weekend zip-lining, hiking or on a rollercoaster? No problem. Height restrictions? Ha! We laugh in the face of height restrictions. Family bike rides in the countryside beat Clappyhandysingyrhymy classes down the parish hall every time. Oh, and you don’t need to lug a three tonne nappy bag and six changes of clothes around with you, because they’ve stopped pissing themselves. Bonus.
3. Planes aren’t a living hell
No more ‘what if they cry for the whole flight?’ fear. Older children can actually entertain themselves (ok fine, to a point) on a three hour trip, leaving you to – shock, horror – start enjoying your holiday. Well just lookey who’s the smug parent having a G&T now…
4. Actual real-life free time
This is your time. It wasn’t just a vicious rumour. You actually get some free time to yourself to do whatever the hell you want to do. If that means watching two hours of Bargain Hunt repeats, then so be it, because the kids are somewhere else. School, play dates, sleepovers, camp… Wonderful, magical places where children are looked after by, well by not you.
5. Conversations are no longer akin to pulling teeth
After years of listening to toddlers’ boring and, frankly, non-sensical stories about absolutely nothing in particular, having older children is a massive relief. Knock-knock jokes without a punchline are a distant memory, as is fake laughter. Congratulations, you have arrived.