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Parenting

23rd Sep 2016

5 Things That Will For Shizz Happen On Princess Charlotte’s Royal Tour Of Canada

Sophie White

In honour of the Vogue spread on the imminent royal tour of Canada, we decided to put together our own slightly more realistic, infinitely less rosy itinerary of the Princess Charlotte’s inaugural state visit to Canada.

As Vogue states, thus far the princess has kept a low profile making only two previous public appearances, her christening and an event honouring her great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th birthday. It is unclear whether her low profile is to keep overzealous royal enthusiasts at bay or because at 16-months-old, she is only about 25 inches tall and is simply lurking behind small objects.

Either way…

Here’re 5 Things That Will For Shizz Happen On The Royal Tour Of Canada:

1. The princess will crap herself

Cmon, it’s true. There’s no shame in it, she’s one.

2. We will lose our minds over ridiculously adorable outfits

We just will.

3. A toddler tantrum will make headlines

And will be rebranded as ‘adorable’ because no royal tantrum is anything less than freakin’ adorbs, OKAY???

4. The parties thrown in Her Royal Toddlerness’ honour will make the bashes featured on my Super Sweet 16 seem really retrained and low-key

We’re predicting adorable mini pony rides, 18-course meals and Rihanna. At the very LEAST.

5. A lavish custom-built nursery comprising soft play area, walk in wardrobe and dressing room, dedicated banana-peeler and CrossFit gym will be built in the Princesses honour at a cost to the Canadian taxpayer of no less than $85,000 

Probably!