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Parenting

30th Apr 2019

6 mums and dads share the most elaborate lies they’ve told their children

Keeley Ryan

And the results, as you would guess, are hilarious (and kind of genius).

When we’re little, it’s easy to assume that our mums and dads are the fountains of wisdom: they know absolutely everything, obviously, and everything they say can be taken as gospel.

Which can lead to some rather complicated situations as the kids get older.

Parents have taken to Reddit to share the most elaborate lies they have ever told their children, and some of the results have to be seen to be believed.

You can check out the full list of responses here, but these are some of our favourites…

“My son would always wake up with a cow lick in his hair from sleeping…

“I turned this into an elaborate story about a cow that would sneek into our house every night to try and lick his hair because the cow thought it was a carrot (hes a red head).

“Managed to convince him to sleep with a carrot for a few nights haha because I said the cow would eat that insted of his hair.

“Then each night either me or his dad would take a bite out of the carrot to prove the night cow had been.” [x]

“We told our daughter when she was 3-6 that her ears wiggle when she was lying…

“She walked around covering her ears up all the time. Picture a 4 yr old earnestly telling you something with their ears covered and elbows straight out.

“‘Yes, I washed my hands.’ ‘Nope, that’s not my popcorn on the couch.'” [x]

“My daughter dropped something heavy on her toe and killed the nail….

“I told her that when it came off that the toenail fairy would bring her money if she saved it and put it under her pillow.

“My wife was not amused, but the toenail fairy pays a lot.

“Later she told her kindergarten teacher that the toenail fairy came and gave her 20 bucks. Heard about that one in a parent teacher conference…” [x]

“When my daughter was 2 or 3, it was easter and my in laws had cooked a ham.

“My daughter wanted nothing to do with the small pieces of ham we had cut up.

“Around the table were some of those chocolate eggs in the foil wrappers. She knew what those were, but wasn’t allowed to have them.

“Someone grabbed an empty wrapper and wrapped up a piece of her ham when she wasn’t looking. Then said ‘here, have this’.

“My daughter unwrapped it and happily ate the piece, we then handed her another wrapped piece of ham.

“To her, this was a treat and she didn’t clue in until the 5th or 6th piece.. I can just imagine her brain ‘heeeeeeeeeey wait a minute, THIS ISN’T CHOCOLATE!!!'” [x]

“‘Eggplants grow from eggs…’

“They didn’t believe me at first bc I mess with them way too much. So I ‘planted’ and egg and a week later replaced with an eggplant.” [x]

“My dad used to tell us that the brown spots on bananas were ‘sugar’…”

“My brother and I would peel our bananas and literally brag to each other about how much sugar ours had.

“‘Mine has 3 sugar spots!’  … ‘So? Mine has 4!’

“Now that I’m a parent, I think my dad was a genius – and I can hardly wait to start using this on my daughter.” [x]