There are a lot of things to learn when you become a parent.
From nursing to getting them to sleep, it’s all one big learning curve. And, really, it doesn’t get much easier as they get older – it just becomes a different sort of learning curve.
Thankfully, the parents of Twitter understand. Or, at least, are able to relate and find some LOL-worthy humour in the chaos.
Here are some of our favourites from the last few weeks.
The Forrest Gump shrimp scene, but it’s my daughter listing the various types of slime: “There’s unicorn slime, butter slime, glow in the dark slime, galaxy slime, jelly slime, metallic slime, magnetic slime, glitter slime, rainbow slime, snow slime, fluffy slime…”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 6, 2019
Only have kids if you REALLY want to watch someone do a spin 10,000 times.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) November 7, 2019
TODDLERS: THE MUSICAL
Including hits like:
? I Don’t Want That (Yes I Do)
? NO NO NO NO NO
? He’s Looking At Me,
She’s Breathing on Me
? Cough in Your Mouth
? Bedtime is The Time for
QuestionsSHOWTIMES AT 4 AM, 5 AM, and DURING YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) November 14, 2019
Doctor: So for this procedure, we’re going to put your son to sleep.
Me: How long does that take?
Doctor: About 10 minutes. Any other questions?
Me: Can…can I have some to take home?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 13, 2019
5-year-old: I love you when you give me candy.
Me: So you don’t love me when I don’t give you candy?
5: Don’t find out.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 14, 2019
I think I’ve figured out this whole meal planning thing with kids:
Monday – won’t eat it
Tuesday – don’t like it
Wednesday – ewww gross
Thursday – that AGAIN
Friday – it smells weird
Saturday – this has chunks
Sunday – pizza— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) November 5, 2019
Me: Don’t do that.
Kids: We won’t.
Me: Please. It’s important you don’t.
Kids: We said we wouldn’t.
Me: Again, I can’t stress how important it is not to do that.
Kids: WE WONT!!!!!Narrator: They immediately did that.
— Fowl Language Comics (@fowlcomics) November 8, 2019
Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake. ??
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 7, 2019
*Loud crash from another room*
Toddler: NOTHING!!
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) November 13, 2019
