"It takes a village to raise a child."
When I first had a baby a couple of years ago, I couldn't get my head around asking for help. I was obsessed with getting 'it' right. As a result, I pushed myself way too much to do everything myself and (what a shock!) ended up getting 'it' even more wrong than I thought possible.
Fun times.
When I finally snapped out of my new mother mania, I realised that asking for and accepting help is just something we've got to do to survive the first shock of parenthood, especially if we are lucky enough to have the support. For me, sometimes support came from some pretty random places. There were neighbours I had barely ever met before who gave me everything I would need for the new baby. A midwife (who looked young enough for me to have babysat) minded my son so that I could go and have a cry in the showers (her suggestion, she was very intuitive and knew just what I needed). Even people I hardly knew came to see me or sent remedies they had tried for all those mysterious but (thankfully) mundane ailments that can assail babies in the first months of their little lives.
Babies bring out a tenderness in people that really amazed me. I genuinely think it was the first time I got any sense of that thing they call the brotherhood of man. Now when I'm out and about with The Child and I see older ladies smiling at him, I think what an amazing role babies and children play in the world. They are a balm to the loneliness of existence. A reassuring sign of the force of life and love. They are, quite simply, all our hopes embodied. And they are cute as f*ck.
Once I got on board with the Village concept, I realised how lucky I am to have the Village around me. The Village concept is not all about accepting handouts and food and free babysitting (although all of that is most welcome). It is more than anything about accepting kindness because kindness is what we need above all else when we take those first steps into the new life that our babies give us.
1. The Midwives at Holles St
Especially Kathleen who quite literally cheered on my efforts in the breastfeeding department.
2. Public Health Nurse Helen
Helen was such a hero I actually devoted an entire piece to the myriad ways she helped me raise my child and get a bit of confidence in my own abilities as a parent. See also
8 Ways My Public Health Nurse Completely Saved My Life
3. My next door neighbours, John and Mon
John and Mon heroically tolerated living on the other side of wafer thin wall to a colicky baby and a pair of completely clueless newbie parents. They also loaned us baby-related paraphernalia and most incredible of all, delivered us
homemade brown bread and
homemade soup (John's a chef) every week until the baby was a few months old and we were more in the swing of things.
4. The Mum-Friends
Most especially Evelyn and Laura who tolerated my forcing my friendship on them as they tried to recover from birth in hospital and even gave me their phone numbers (most likely because they were too weak to fight me off) before we were all discharged into the wilderness with our offspring.
5. The Bitch Herd
The Bitch Herd are my closest friends in the world; we've been friends since we were twelve. They have helped babysit The Child, helped me laugh when I felt like crying; they have foregone nights out to dance in my kitchen because they know I can't get a babysitter and they really, really love my son.
6. The Couple Friends
When The Man and I became parents we didn't know any other parents (bar our own obviously) and while our friends were more than happy to skip the pub on a Friday night and eat pizza at our house (see above) it became imperative that we find another couple we could go on parent dates with. Sadly there's no parent Tinder so instead I ruthlessly and systematically worked to groom a couple I vaguely know who were at the time expecting a child. My creepy efforts paid off and we got ourselves some brunch buddies who barely bat an eye when The Child pushes their daughter's face or does an explosive shit on their couch.
7. The Woman I Met at the Coffee Morning
We didn't know each other at all but on spying the bump, she invited me to come round her house and relieve her of various newborn items including a beautiful antique Moses basket that had been in her family for three generations. It was a very special first bed for The Child.
8. My family
My family is a little one. The core of it is just my mum and me (and now The Man and The Child of course), but when the baby came along everyone rowed in and my aunt's name was one of The Child's first words and she, along with my mum, is one of his favourite people.
Do you have a Village? Tell us about the people who supported YOU in the comments... 
