From the moment they put that warm, wet and brand new baby in your arms, you will start questioning whether or not you are doing a good job.
And that's both utterly normal (as in we are all at it), and also a good thing. I mean; being worried about whether or not you are making a balls of parenting essentially just means that you really want to give it your best shot, no?
Being seven years into motherhood, there are indeed days when I feel like the best mum in the world, when I have built My Little Pony castles and Lego towers to beat the band, when breakfast was pancakes and their favourite Spiderman (blueberry) smoothie and when we got through a whole day of no tears, tantrums or screaming matches.
And then there are days that are less Kodak moment-y. When I feel wrecked from the three nightly wake-up's by my toddler. When I feel like I look twice the age I actually am due to lack of sleep and an almost obsessive reliance on coffee. When I have dealt with (what seems like) 4000 tantrums and appropriate clothing discussions and Cornflake spills and broken toys.
Those days I am not the Best Mum in the World. Maybe not the worst, but still, a long way off being awarded for my patience and amazingness. To put it mildly.
But, guys, parenting is hard. And we all mess up from time to time. And that's OK, because for the most part, we are really, really good at it.
But, while most of our daily shortcomings are of little or no relevance to our children's long-term wellbeing, there are some mistakes we all make that, according to The Fatherly, actually can end up harming our kids in the long run.
Here is the list or errors (most of) us parents are guilty of:
1. Giving them too many choices
While we tend to think endless choice is better, to kids, this will sometimes just lead to confusion.
2. Praising them for everything they do
Here the experts are warning about turning kids into junkies for praise, and how they will be unwilling to do anything unless they get praised and awarded for it.
3. Trying to make the child happy
Clearly all parents want their children to be happy, but learning how to make yourself happy is also a very important lesson.
4. Overindulging them
If you do, they will almost always end up believing acquisitions lead to happiness. This sets up chasing the never-satisfying carrots, and can result in addictions and compulsions.
5. Keeping them too busy
This I am guilty of, fearing having nothing on the agenda will lead to boredom and laziness. While, in fact, sometimes they probably need to just stay at home and wind down from their hectic week.
6. Thinking Smart Will Save Them
It can be tempting for parents to promote smart as the end-all-be-all. Yet this can lead to a child becoming arrogant, thinking everyone else is stupid or secretly believe that they have to put on an act and are a fraud. As a result, nobody likes them.
7. Not Limiting Screen Time
Whether it's TV, video, games, phone or texting. Too much screen time is damaging for human relations.
8. Withholding Common Information About Important Topics — Like Sex
Many parents are terrified of talking about sex, and believe avoiding discussing it with their children will save them.
9. Being Hyper-Critical Of The Child's Mistakes
It can be easy to assume intense scrutiny promotes success and makes kids better. But kids raised this way are driven to perfection in everything from looks, likability, sports, smarts, or you name it. So much so, that when a mistake happens, they suddenly feel worthless.
10. Using Shame, Shunning, Or Threats
Never imply that there is a chance you might not love your child due to their actions.
How do YOU feel about this list, parents? Are YOU guilty of any of these? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
