'It's a baby prison' – one mum's controversial approach to parenting has caused some backlash 3 months ago

'It's a baby prison' – one mum's controversial approach to parenting has caused some backlash

This mum claims that making babies follow a sleep schedule is 'INHUMANE' and says she refuses to use a crib for her five-month-old son because it is like a 'tiny jail cell.'

This is taking attachment parenting to a whole new level, I think we can all agree.

A young mum from Arizona recently ended up being ridiculed on social media after likening bedtime routines to abuse and describing cots as jail cells.

Alice Bender, who is mum to five-month-old Fern, took to TikTok to share a video of her approach to sleep for her baby. And let's just say, it's a little controversial.

@comingupfern##cosleeping ##montessori ##pregnancy

♬ original sound - ?

Bender, who describes herself as 'vegan, holistic. free-birthing homemaker' kicks off the video by sharing her belief that most 'typical' nurseries are set up 'for the parent's benefit, not the child's'.

Sleep and sleep arrangements are her real issues, though, and it seems the young mum has a real problem with the use of cots.

"We literally buy these little baby jail cells so we can leave our baby in there and walk away," she explains in her now-viral video.


"I don't have a crib because I will never enforce a bedtime for my child. Babies are people too and forcing anyone to sleep when they're not tired is inhumane."

She continues:

"Imagine if your partner locked you in a container you couldn't get out of and forced you to sleep when you're not tired. That would be abuse and you would (hopefully) leave them."

Continuing to say that kids deserve the right to bodily autonomy, she then shows the floor bed she uses so her baby can get up and move around when if it's not tired.

The video has so far been viewed more than 7.7 million times, and as expected, followers and other TikTok users did not hold back in the comments, with many pointing out everything from potential safety issues, to how different things would have to look if she had another baby.


"OMG this is the most asinine video I've seen in a while. Babies need sleep and it's your job to provide a safe place to sleep," wrote one.

"It's all fine and merry when it's just you and your first kid. Then you have four that are all on their own schedule. Don't do this with multiples," another advised.

"I don't even have a kid but this just sounds silly," another chimed in.

When asked what she planned to do once Fern was school-aged, the mum said they would go to school tired.

"Send them to school the same way adults still have to work even when they don't get any sleep."

Other followers were quick to defend Bender, saying they too believed in the same approach or simply reminded the finger-pointers that she is Fern's mum and has the right to make the choices she feels makes sense for her family.

"I've never enforced a bedtime and my children have each fell (sic) into their own schedules. I don't use cribs or other baby containers either," said one.