Kids are gross. We all know it. Somewhat more than others, let’s be honest. But still: kids are disgusting. I’ve been observing my kids lately and here are a few examples of what makes them gross:
Two-year-old has discovered water
Water here. Water there. Water, water everywhere. Loves the stuff. Recently he discovered that “water” comes out of his mouth as well. Mind-blowing! Not just taps, buckets, puddles. Last week I watched him wandering around the dining room and suddenly stops, lies down on his tummy and starts to spit. Continuously. Creating a nice little puddle that he could call his own. After checking to make sure he had enough, he sticks his face down in this nice little pile of spit and slurps it all back up again!
Okay, same kid. Same topic; water
I could hear the toilet flushing over and over again. Rushing into the bathroom I found him dunking anything he could find in the bathroom, and flushing. After tidying up and sorting him out (drenched toilet water clothes) I went about my business again, barricading the bathroom door with suitcases and wooden boxes, which, hindsight wasn’t very smart. I mean, what toddler doesn’t love a climb challenge? Ten minutes later my sister heard the toilet flushing again. She runs up and catches him in the act, only, this time, it was worse! He had dunked the toilet brush holder in the toilet and was just about to drink out of it! Or was he going for round two?
Greens
We all wish our kids would just bite the bullet and eat them. However, some kids opt for a different kind of “greens”. My nephew had gotten into the habit of picking his nose, two nostrils at a time. Sliding his fingers down (with a successful harvesting) out his nose, he would slip his fingers straight into his mouth, savouring the delicious homemade nibbles. His mum insisted that ‘if you keep picking your nose and eating the snots, I’m going to go to our neighbours and ask them for a bowl of their snot, and you can eat that!’
Aisling is an Irish mother of two boys (age two and five) currently living in the Netherlands. She loves to write about what life throws your way, as a mother, as a sister, as a woman, documenting it all on her website The House of Bash. Aisling is also a Style Contributor for The LB Brand based in Philadelphia and a creative writer for fashion and motherhood websites as well as a translator/transcreator. Catch up with her on her blog or Instagram.
