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Parenting

10th Nov 2018

Mums of boys need to read this message from a fellow mother

Cathy Donohue

Wise words from this mum.

Although your little boy might act tough and as though he doesn’t need hugs from his mum, chances are that’s just an act and he’s crying out for a cuddle.

Jaime Primak Sullivan is a mother of three and at a recent basketball match her son was playing in, she was told to stop “babying” her son.

Bear in mind that her son had just been hit in the face with a baseball bat (by accident) and his first instinct was to look for his mother.

“In that moment, I saw Max start to run around the court in my direction as the silent cry began. He couldn’t catch his breath. My feet couldn’t move fast enough”.

He cried into his mum’s shoulder and then a stranger approached Jamie and Max and said:

“You need to stop babying that kid.”

Jaime ignored him and concentrated on comforting Max before he went to the game and it was only afterwards that she allowed herself to get angry.

It was the fact that a complete stranger suggested that she shouldn’t comfort her son, that he shouldn’t be allowed to get upset, this was what really got to Jaime.

“This notion that boys can never hurt, that they can never feel, is so damaging to them long term. The belief that any signs or gestures of affection will somehow decrease their manhood — this pressure to always ‘man up’ follows them into adulthood where they struggle to fully experience the broad scope of love and affection”.

Her parting paragraph is perfect and we couldn’t agree more.

“Love is a verb. It is something you do. It is not the same as babying, coddling or spoiling. It is something my son deserves. I will always love him when he is hurting and my prayer for him is that he is alway open to receiving love so he can love in return and keep that cycle going”.