A dad has sparked a huge debate after he told off a woman when she called his baby daughter “gorgeous”.
The woman explained that she had been left confused by the encounter, and was turning to other parents to see if what she did was really in the wrong.
She said that she had been standing outside a café with her nine-month-old baby when the man, who was carrying a toddler, approached.
She recalled how the man’s daughter wanted to se her baby, so she introduced them both before asking how old the girl was.
The woman said that she greeted the little girl by saying, “Hello lovely, aren’t you gorgeous?” – which is when the encounter took a bit of a turn.
She wrote on Mumsnet:
“The man looked me sternly in the eyes and said, “oh no, don’t tell her that, language like that ruins them!
“I work with children, I have lots of friends with children. I often use language like this. This is the first time I’ve come across this kind of attitude and I must admit I thought he was joking and laughed in his face.”
Some people said that the dad was being “ridiculous” for his comments, while others insisted parents should reinforce children’s strengths beyond their appearances.
One person said:
“I would say that being told I was pretty as a little kid (which I was) did cause me problems, because (a) it made me feel like being pretty was something important and that I’d somehow achieved something because people thought it about me, and (b) when I grew up into a fairly normal-looking older child and teen I was devastated that people didn’t routinely say it to me any more, because it was something I’d attached such weight to.
“I do avoid telling my nieces that they’re pretty for that reason, although I’m sure not everyone has the same experience and I think that since he was someone you don’t know and won’t see again he was just being plain old rude.”
Someone else added;
“I feel the same as him. Whether you say it to a boy or a girl, why can’t you just say ‘Hello little one, are you having a fun day?’ or something just plain.
“Why does a primary interaction have to be based on physical attributes and faux compliments. You wouldn’t say it to an adult, why say it to a child. Just talk to them normally.”
Another commented:
“She’s his child and if he doesn’t want strangers commenting on her appearance then fair enough.”
Others felt that the dad was “ridiculous” for his comments to the other parent.
Someone said:
“My mum never ever said I was pretty or beautiful or clever or anything she show led love in many other ways and was an amazing mother however in deeply insecure about my looks in particular even though I get complimented by others.”
Another parent wrote:
“[You are not being unreasonable], because ‘gorgeous’ just means ‘all round wonderful’ not ‘pretty’.
“I know what he meant, but he was being ridiculous.”
