Much as I have never spent too much time worrying about my body or hating it in any way, there is no denying that it now, having had two babies, looks a little different to what it once did.
And that I do sometimes mourn what I once had a little.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love my body. It is strong and healthy and has carried and grown and birthed and fed two babies – in fact, I now have a respect for it that I prior to motherhood never really had. But it is most definitively a little softer around the edges. There are a roundness to my belly that will probably forever more stay that way – no six-pack here, people. A handful of white stretch marks criss cross the lower part of my belly – all courtesy of my 10 lbs 1 oz boy, I think.
Most of the time, I don’t mind at all – I still feel happy with my lot and confident in that I look just fine. Not perfect, not model-like in any way, but fine. Happy. Healthy. And that’s what matters, no? But then summer rolls around and it becomes time again to put on a bikini, and just like that I find myself in front of a mirror wishing I had spent more time at the gym. Eaten lesss. Ran more. Sucking in my belly as I watch my own complexion and for a moment dreaming about the way I looked before I had my babies – much as I probably didn’t appreciate what I had back then at all.
And then I came across this Facebook post featuring American mum Laura Mazza who published an open post about what her husband replied when she, standing in front of the mirror one day, had told him how ‘this was not the body he fell in love with.’
It’s not a new post but it resonated with so much that we feel it’s important to share it with you.
His reply? It will make you weep:
This is Laura’s text in full:
“This isn’t the body you fell in love with.” I said to him.
The body he fell in love with was toned, it had muscles, there were no stretch marks on my belly, none on my boobs, no gut from muscle separation. The body he fell in love with fit into tight jeans, could walk into a shop and grab any size and walk out, knowing it fit. This body now couldn’t shop at those stores, and mostly wears leggings. His body stayed the same, but mine changed in every way. It isn’t fair…
I stood in front of him, exhausted and broken, the tears welled in my eyes, “this isn’t the body you fell in love with.” Then he said, “you’re right. It isn’t the body I fell in love with.
Instead it’s a body that grew our children, it fed our children, it comforted our children, it made life. Your body is the one I fall in love with every day
I didn’t know what love was until I saw this body and found out all it could do, so thank you.”
Do not be ashamed of what you have, or what your mum body looks like, there’s plenty of time to give up cake in the future, for now, enjoy the moments you have, and enjoy the fact that you have made something that is worth every stretch mark and every dimple.
If you needed a reminder, this is it, this body you have now, its worth every bit of love and more.”
Got a body that has literally created and sustained life? Then we should celebrate it. Cherish it. And love it – soft bits, stretch marks; all of it.