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Family dynamics

24th Dec 2021

‘Dashing through Tesco…’ : Mum rewrites Jingle Bells and we can relate

Melissa Carton

The most relatable version of Jingle Bells we’ve ever heard.

Christmas Eve is upon us and if you’re a parent you’ll know the post Christmas day chaos all too well.

Trying to get last minute bits, making sure you’ve bought batteries because you just know they don’t come with the toy you bought.

Writing last minute Christmas cards because you’re neighbour just left you one and of course getting all the gifts snuck under the tree, ready for Christmas morning.

It can be hectic to say the least.

Mummy blogger Popcorn For Lunch recently posted her version of Jingle Bells to her social media accounts and honestly it’s the most honest version we’ve heard of it yet.

You can have a little read of it below:

Dashing through Tesco,
On a squeaky, wonky trolley,
Mowing down the public as we go
Because we NEED a 20kg turkey.
The shop only closes for a day
But we need 8 bags of fancy crisps
And 12 legs of ham,
In case there’s an apocalypse.
Oh, Tesco hell, Tesco hell,
Cold sweats all the way.
Nothing quite says Christmas
Like a brawl at the mince pie display.
Oh Tesco hell, Tesco hell,
Peace and goodwill toward men.
Unless someone takes the last panettone
They’ll be bludgeoned with a loaf of olive bread.

Given that I actually turned around and decided not to go into Tesco yesterday because the queue was out the door and around the corner, I read this version and went ‘yes, accurate’.

I really didn’t fancy getting into an argument over a multipack of Tayto, the year has been long and hard enough without that.

For those of you who do have to venture into a supermarket before Christmas however, may the odds be ever in your favour.