I am confident in that I am not alone in finding bedtime a bit of a battle ground these days.
I know of friends who stick to bedtime routines like their lives depended on it, no matter what time a year it is or the circumstances, feeling that this is the right choice for their kids and family. And, as with most things to do with parenting, I wholeheartedly believe that only parents themselves know what works better for their own families.
But what if someone told you that
forcing your kids to stick to a bedtime simply isn't worth the fuss? You might be intrigued (or horrified) to know that such is the conclusion of
FiveThirtyEight's installment of its
Science Question From a Toddler series, as reported by
The Science of Us.
If you haven't read it: When Kayla, age 5, asked why it's bedtime when it's still light outside, Maggie Koerth-Baker, a science writer, admits that bedtime is more of a social construct than anything else.
This is what Koerth-Baker has to say:
"Research on American kids suggests that 'bedtime resistance'—that fist-in-the-air struggle against the oppressive forces of lights-out via tantrums—is common and increases as children age," she writes. "Kids need to sleep, and they generally sleep more than adults, especially when they're really young. But there's a lot of variability in what's healthy."
As parents of more than one child might already know (I know I sure do), children, like adults, have sleep needs that can vary greatly. For instance, the
National Sleep Foundation states that a toddler can need anywhere from nine to 16 hours of sleep a day – a difference of a whopping seven hours.
Swizz researchers Oscar Jenni, from the Child Development Center of the University Children's Hospital Zurich,
explains: "That fact often clashes with the reality that bedtimes are sociocultural decisions based, at least in part, on parents' expectations of how long kids should sleep."
What this means is that if your child gets terribly frustrated and throws a tantrum when being told bedtime has arrived, there is actually a chance they they genuinely aren't tired – certainly if we are talking about children that are approaching the 8-10-year mark, that are more capable of knowing if they feel tired or not.
If you are concerned that letting children have a say themselves might result in children not getting enough shut-eye a night, know that the above Swizz
longitudinal study found that this "sleep resistance" dissipated in Swiss households once parents had shifted toward later and later bedtimes. "In Switzerland, at least, putting kids to bed later meant less frustration for everyone," they concluded.
