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16th May 2017
01:50pm BST
1. Nothing is ever “yours”: This is a lesson you learn exceptionally quickly especially when you have an younger sister. She will take your toys, she will take your clothes and, when you’re old enough, she’ll steal your make-up too. It’s helpful to make peace with this fact from a young age. Just accept it.
2. Never trust anyone who isn’t a professional hairdresser: When your sister asks you if you want to “play hairdresser” just say no. Say no and run away as fast as you can, otherwise there’s a good chance you’ll end up with half your hair chopped off. As you get older always ask to see someone’s qualifications before you let them near your hair.
3. Be sceptical when people say “trust me”: One of the greatest things we learned from own own brothers and sisters is to be wary whenever someone utters the phrase “trust me.” Example: “Trust me... this won’t hurt” “Trust me... Of course I’ll catch you!” and, our personal favourite, “Trust me... I swear I won’t tell mam and dad.”
4. Always have your wits about you: If you grew up in a house with an older/younger brother chances are this is your life’s philosophy. Brothers are always setting up traps and plotting new ways to scare the absolute sh*te out of you. Scare us once, shame on us. Scare us twice, make us cautious for the rest of our lives.
5. Life is unfair: When you have an older sibling, you’ll always be jealous because they get to do certain things before you. For example, they’re allowed to stay up later, they’re allowed to go out and they’re allowed to stay home alone.
When you have a younger sibling, you’ll always be jealous because they seem to get more than you. For example, they get better toys than you did, they get absolutely coddled when they’re sick and they always get their own way. Always.
6. If you love something, let it go: That Barbie that your sister stole on you? That mobile phone your younger brother nicked? Just accept that you’re never likely to see it again. Let it go. Just let it go...
7. You will suffer if you break a pinky promise: The pinky promise is one of the most solemn vows you can make with a sibling. If you break it, they will exact some form of revenge on you. Oh and they also never forget about it either. Your brother is likely to keep dragging this up when the two of you are well into your 40s.
8. Life really is all about the survival of the fittest: Charles Darwin was onto something when he wrote The Origin Of The Species. Siblings who get to the dinner table first, eat the best. Siblings who get to the car first always get the best seat. Siblings who call dibs on the remote control first get to watch whatever they want.
9. Always ask before you take something: Despite the fact that your sister/brother steals everything you own, if you want to borrow something that belongs you them all hell with break loose if you don’t ask them first. Yes, it makes no sense but if you take that hair straightners without asking, you’ll regret it. Trust us (or don’t – we know you’re still harboring issues from childhood about this phrase).
10. There is always a favourite sibling: Much and all as your parents protest and claim that they love you all “equally” this is definitely not true. Every single parent has a favourite. It's usually the youngest.
