Anyone else have children who would not tell you if they knew the world was going to end? The term ‘getting blood out of a stone’ springs to mind. And I know I am not alone.
They’re happy to divulge information about cakes or how many fancy pencils they have (or would like for Christmas), but ask them anything about their day, their lives, their friends, their schoolwork, and you’ll most likely be met with a steely glare, a shrug of the shoulders, or just an “I dunno” retort.
Forcing the issue is never going to work, but after a little bit of research on how to tease out the information with a gentle nudge, it seems you can get the conversation going a little bit easier. It’s all in the question and how your phrase it.
Here are a few things we’re trying right now:
Don’t ask:
“What do you want for dinner?”
“Have you got homework?”
“What did you learn today in school?”
“Who were you playing with today?”
Tell them about your day instead. Use the ‘I’ to lead the conversation. Make it a two-way street.
Do ask:
Start the conversation: “Mummy had a great day at work today, and that makes her really happy. What made you happy today?”
“It’s Tuesday; I think it’s a great day for xxx for dinner, don’t you think? Let’s make it together.”
“I’m really excited to learn about what you did in school; you can show me when we do your homework together.”
“Bet I can guess what you learned today at school (make a silly suggestion).” They’ll (hopefully) laugh and offer up the answer instead.”
“I was chatting to my friend today, and we were laughing and having so much fun together. Who were you having fun with today?”
“A brilliant one to always try to fit into your day is “I did something nice for someone today; I gave up my seat on the train, what nice thing did you do for someone today?”
Do you have any tips to share with us? Let us know in the comments.
