As a mother I am always wondering if am I good enough. Am I doing my best? Is my best good enough?
When I climb into bed every night I always turn to my husband and say "I feel bad for saying this or that to Mia, Ava and Jack today. I'll try again tomorrow". That mindset has always been there. My husband says I always pick out the negative thing I did, despite the fact I could have done plenty of positive things that day.
It's nearly 12 years ago now that I first became a mother. Not one of those days has passed that I can say I was 100 per cent Mother Guilt-free.
That guilt is there constantly. I doubt myself on whether I'm good enough or up to the challenge. It's the most difficult job. My friends and I always say it's so tough and yet so rewarding.
At the same time there hasn't been one of those days in the past 12 years where I have not felt that overwhelming love for my kids for the slightest little thing they may done. Like when they come over and hug me when I haven't even asked for a hug; that tiny show of affection melts a mother's heart.
It's simple. My kids are my world. My life. My reason for breathing. Although I'm starting to find the summer holidays a struggle (they are CONSTANTLY around me to the point I can't even hide in the bathroom for two minutes!) when they aren't there I find myself starting to think; in a few short years they will be teenagers and they won't want to hang out with me at all, let alone follow me about 24/7 asking me question after endless question.
There will come a time when they will no longer hop into my bed for cuddles every morning. That frightens me. It makes my heart beat a bit faster and it makes my eyes prickle with tears because no matter how much I doubt myself, I know I am the only Mam they have.
For all my mistakes, I have got positives and mine are happy kids. They are loving, polite and have a way of the seeing the world that totally intrigues me.
I like to think I see the world like they do. I hope they remember the positives more than the negatives. Motherhood is my job and my passion. Yes it's tough but I love it. Sometimes when I look at the three little people depending on me, I want to freeze time.
All too soon they will be bigger and I'll be chasing after them for cuddles and conversation. So for now I hug them a bit longer and hold them a bit tighter, I try be in the moment with them. They only get one childhood.
Now is the time to make as many good memories as possible.
Read: 'Mia Is Our Everything'
Carrie Burton is 31. Married to her childhood best friend Daniel, the couple have three beautiful children who all have special needs. Carrie likes to write about the reality of their conditions and what it's like for her family to live with them. They are her world. You can catch up with her at her blog Life As I Know It. 
