Search icon


11th Nov 2019

‘I’m upset. This is important’ – Irish parenting blogger talks mum shaming

Most mums have felt shamed at one point or another.

It can sometimes feel like no matter what you do, you’re getting it wrong as there’s always someone who has something to say.

If you’re a stay at home mum you’re called lazy. If you’re a working mum you’re called neglectful. It can be exhausting.

One issue that comes up time and time again is shaming mums over how they decide to feed their children and it’s a topic that recently caught the attention of Irish parenting blogger Tracey Quinn.

Tracey known for her blog Love of Living said that she had noticed a disturbing trend among other mums she knows and that it didn’t sit well with her.

“I’m upset. This is important.

On three occasions in recent weeks three different wonderful gorgeous mothers mentioned that they were unsure if they would attend an event because they felt that they would be judged for bottle feeding. I actually have a knot in my stomach even writing that. It makes me so genuinely sad to think that any mother would feel like this ?

I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding but it does not sit right with me that another mother could feel like she may be judged or unwelcome because of the way she’s chosen (or in some cases, it wasn’t a choice at all) to feed her baby.”

pumped breastmilk

Tracey went on to say that we should stop being cruel to one another and that she would never judge another mum for bottle feeding;

“If you are reading this and it’s striking a chord with you then please take my word for it when I say that if I ever see you at an event, coffee morning, play date or meet up I can promise you that I would never in a million years judge you for bottle feeding.

Even writing that makes me feel uncomfortable. Can I also say that the same goes for those that I associate with and spend time with. The people I am friends with are kind, and caring people. Some of them have breastfed and some of them haven’t. Some of them will and some of them won’t.

I adore breastfeeding but there is more to life than the topic as well. I’ll always do anything I can to help encourage a mum to breastfeed (if she asks for help/ advice and it’s appropriate) and help normalize the topic. I’ll always celebrate it.

But what’s not normal, and what is more important, is ensuring that mothers are not feeling alone.”

I loved being able to breastfeed my daughter and a big part of it was that I didn’t get to with my son.

I was extremely ill after I had my first child and my milk never came through. So many people told me I didn’t try hard enough but trust me I did. I tried and tried until I was on the brink of tears.

Other women I’ve known have had similar experiences and even though they really wanted to breastfeed it just didn’t happen for them.

Mums need support if they decide to breastfeed and/or bottlefeed but whatever their chosen method, judgement on a mother’s personal decision has to stop.