Oh, if we had a Euro for every tactless comment we’ve heard said to a new mum.
Here is our concise list of the unwelcome blarney that sets some well-wishers apart from others. Have a good LOL fest on us:
1. “Oh God. She’s sooooo cute.” Possible response:
He is a she and “cute” is not a meaningful description of the bundle of beautiful-ness I have just produced. Sheesh.
2. “God you must be wreeeecked.” Possible response:
No, I’m grand. Actually I’ve signed up for the Dublin Marathon next week and I’m training every day since the birth on Tuesday. I’m more toned now than I was preceeding my pregnancy and I am sleeping better than the baba.
3. “Sure himself has it easy.” Possible response:
Right. We are not living in the dark ages John-Joe. We both pull our weight. I have a job, he has a job. We do not live in a cave and women have fought for equal rights since the Treaty of Rome in 1957 #dope
4. “Aw, it won’t be long until you lose all that baby weight.” Possible response:
Oh how funny. You do bring the comedy. When the young one you are seeing gets bored of spending your money it won’t be long until you loose that toupée either, sugar daddy.
5. “Mine are so healthy, never get a cold or anything. Oh? Did you not breastfeed?” Possible response:
Are you the real Sherlock Holmes? I fupping didn’t and though it may come as a shock, it is none of your business. (Furiously hiding dirty snot tissues and antibiotic spoons in the base of the buggy.)
6. “You will have to pop a wee boy out now to match your wee girl!” Possible response:
Ehm. Still kind of aching here from the last one, delivered just one day ago. When I need your opinion on my next move I’ll be sure to call you!
7. “Oh I wore my pre-pregnancy clothes out of hospital!” Possible response:
Wow. How great for you. (You absolute wagon).
Thanks to my sisters-in-law for sharing the rollercoaster of fun that is post-pregnancy life #loveens
Picture via Etsy
