Ahh, Mother’s Day.
A day of rest and relaxation. A day where the sun shines a little bit brighter. A day where you sleep in ‘til late afternoon and wake to the sound of a birds’ chorus, only to be lovingly served breakfast in bed with a tea-or-coffee of your preference.
*Record scratch* Yeah, right.
Any actual mother knows the expectation and reality of Mother’s Day are two very different things.
And while we appreciate our family’s best efforts, we all know this day isn’t quite as tranquil as a Hallmark verse makes it out to be.
But hey, that doesn’t stop us from getting a giggle out of it. Here are our favourite tweets that hilariously capture the reality of Mother’s Day.
1. “I’m the only one who does anything around this house!”
Now taking bets on what time this Sunday I first utter the words, "Mother's Day, my ass."
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) May 8, 2015
2. One for the boy mams.
This Mother's Day show mom you really care by not peeing on the toilet seat.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) May 11, 2017
3. Mayday! Mayday!
Telling a mom to relax while her family does everything on Mother’s Day is like telling a pilot to relax while the passengers fly the plane.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 14, 2017
4. Once bitten…
him: what do you want to do for Mother's Day?
me: oh i don't care
him: please don't do this
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) May 8, 2018
5. We don’t ask for much.
I don’t know what my husband is planning on doing for me for Mother's Day but I hope it's the laundry.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 4, 2019
6. Mother’s One Single Bathroom Break in Peace.
When you have little ones, it's not really Mother's Day…it's more like Mother's 22 minutes to an hour, tops.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) May 2, 2016
7. Thanks, I almost forgot what your finger prints look like.
Nothing says Mother's Day like a kid handprint memento to symbolize the handprints moms wipe off every single surface, every single day. ✋️
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 14, 2017
8. It’s like waking up from a nice dream…
Like the clock striking midnight for Cinderella, Mother's Day abruptly ends with the realization that I need to make lunches for tomorrow.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) May 8, 2016
9. It’s called self-care.
Instead of doing the 100 things I normally do, I decided to relax for Mother’s Day and only do 87 of those tasks.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 13, 2018
10. And the Oscar goes to…
Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM.
Happy Mother’s Day
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 13, 2018
11. Keeping us humble.
6yo: You're the best mommy
Me: Aw, thank you!
6yo: I mean, I guess. I don't have any other mommies to compare
Happy Mothers Day to me
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) May 5, 2017
12. Might as well choose death.
Do not tell the mother of your children “but you’re not my mom” on her first Mother’s Day.
Swear to God, she’ll bring it up every Mother’s Day and you will fear the day.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) May 8, 2018
13. You shouldn’t have…
[hands mom flowers on Mother's day]
thanks for a life of sacrifice, these cost me twenty bucks— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) May 7, 2015
14. Adore me but also please don’t call me or speak to me or look at me for the next 24 hours, thanks.
Is it too much to ask to be surrounded by my beautiful children but also not spend even one second with them this mother's day?
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) May 9, 2017
15. Sounds ominous…
https://twitter.com/stellagmaddox/status/729459137533366273?s=21
16. It’s the thought that counts.
Bought my mom a mug that says “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son.” I forgot to mail it to her, but I think she knows.
— Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) May 11, 2014
17. The fairytale is over for another year.
I'm at my most Disney Princess when I wake up on Mother's Day morning and have been magically transformed into the Best Mommy Ever– but at the stroke of midnight, the spell is broken, turning me back into the Meanest Mommy Ever, where everything's my fault and I can't pee alone.
— Jenny (@FierceEverAfter) May 10, 2018
