Mum wants to know if it’s OK to not take toddler on holiday but bring eldest kids

“It doesn’t sit well with me..."

A mum was branded “awful” and “selfish” for leaving her toddler at home with grandparents while she and the rest of her family go on holiday. The woman explained that she and her partner were planning to go on a trip to a water park with their two eldest children - but thought that it could be trickier with their youngest traveling with them. The Mumsnet user added that when her mum offered to help, it seemed like the perfection solution at first. However, her sister-in-law quickly are furious, describing them both as “awful and selfish” parents. The Mumsnet post began:

“Me and my oh [other half] have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week “Spoke to my oh [other half] and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week as well. “We would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. “Would be able to relax a lot more around the pool as my older two are very confident in water. “Anyway we’re having holy hell over it all with my brother’s girlfriend, what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! “My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each Sunday night so no favouritism at all! “She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. “Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?”

The opinion of her fellow forum users was split after reading the post. Some people agreed that it was good for the toddler to get to spend some time with their grandma, while others shared their tales of similar vacations. One person wrote:

“Sounds like a lovely opportunity for your 2year old to have some time with her grandma and for you to be able to focus on your older children. “If you are all happy with that then I wouldn’t give a second thought to what someone else thought.”

Someone else commented:

“We have had some fantastic family holidays which just wouldn’t have been possible with a 2 year old (including Disney). “She will definitely get her turn when she is older and I don’t for a second regret leaving her with her grandparents while the older children had a fantastic time.”

Other Mumsnet users disagreed, saying that it was “selfish” and “sending the wrong message” to the children. One mum said:

“I don’t think it’s nice at all, sorry. You’re a family. You made a choice to have a baby who is now 2. “I’d hate to have a family holiday leaving out a member of the family. “Sorry. I do think it’s quite selfish and sends the wrong message to your older children and the younger one too when she is old enough to see the photos etc.”

Another added:

“It doesn’t sit well with me either leaving a family member out especially when you chosen to have another dc. Would be different if it was just the two of you.”