Mum criticised for telling her 5-year-old son to defend himself from younger brother

It feels like arguing among siblings is inevitable.

But what about when the every day kind of argument turns into actual, physical, fighting? One mum has been heavily criticised after questioning if she should let her two kids settle things themselves. The woman explained on Mumsnet that her sons, aged 5 and 2 1/2, are "ALWAYS fighting". She said that her youngest would go up to his "quiet, calm" older brother and "start pulling his hair" or even "jumping on him". And while she explained this is often to try and start a "play fight", her eldest son hates it - and she wants to try and keep her younger son from doing it. She continued:

"When I’m in the room, I can tell the toddler no and stop it, but when I’m not I’ve told Five-year-old to defend himself. "But my worry is, by doing that, I’m encouraging them to fight! I guess my fear is, I don’t want five-year-old to get picked on in life and I want him to learn to defend himself. "I have no idea what to do. I hate violence and I don’t want to raise scrappy boys."

The commenters began to express worry for the older siblings, with some suggesting she simply separate the pair. One person wrote:

"If you can't control your toddler, keep him away from his brother. "Stop allowing him to abuse his sibling and do not encourage his sibling to abuse him back. What are you doing?"

Another wondered:

"Keep them apart when you're not in the room. "Why would you 'encourage' your 5 year old to get physical with your 2 year old??"

Someone else said:

"Don't leave them alone together. Take the toddler with you and separate them with stair gates."