Search icon


04th Feb 2020

Mum explains the reasons why newborns don’t sleep and yeah, sounds about right

Cathy Donohue

Ah, bless.

It’s a well-known fact that newborns don’t sleep very well and while every baby is different, every new mum knows that sleep-deprivation is standard for the first couple of weeks, at the very least.

It can continue for much longer for some parents and it’s wise to remember that what works for one baby won’t necessarily work for another.

That’s why this Facebook post from Laura Mazza, who you’ll find at Mum on the Run, really resonated with us.

Listing all the reason why newborns don’t sleep, Laura really used her imagination and had a good think about what would keep new babas awake.

It’s important to note that most of these are purely fictional and are meant to give other parents a giggle.

Obviously, the reflux and colic are par for the course but it’s the ones like ‘one boob tastes like Pepsi and the other tastes like coke’ and ‘they’re devils who look like little angels’ that really made us laugh.

You can check them out here in full:

  1. Because they have reflux
  2. Because they have colic
  3. Because they have refluxycolicchungasfungas
  4. Because you bragged about your parenting skills when you were childless
  5. Because you told someone they were a good sleeper
  6. Because one boob tastes like Pepsi and the other tastes like coke
  7. Because you drank too much coffee in pregnancy
  8. Because when you were 13 you couldn’t decide if you liked Zac Hanson or Taylor Hanson… now you think you like Isaac.
  9. Because your first child slept so now you’re being punished
  10. Because despite what you thought, your farts DO stink and your newborn CAN smell them
  11. Because their Chinese horoscope said “today brings too much energy”
  12. Because they’re manipulative… I’m not sure how but that’s what your grandmother told you and she ain’t lying! Now all of a sudden you’re money laundering for them.
  13. Because you fed them, you fed them too fast, too much, too little, too slow, too much formula, because it’s gas, your gas their gas, everybody’s gas gas!
  14. Because god is punishing you for premarital sex.
  15. Because they’re devils who look like little angels.
  16. Because because because….

If you’re not following Laura on social media, she’s on Facebook, Instagram and the likes, start now because she will make you realise that there are many mums in the same situation as you and there is often a humorous side to the hellish situations you might find yourself in.