A mum facing a heartbreaking decision has reached out for advice online.
The woman posted on Mumsnet seeking advice on whether she should seek treatment abroad for a serious illness, leaving her young family behind.
“I’ve been diagnosed with a very serious condition,” she wrote.
She explained that a new treatment is available abroad but that she’s concerned about leaving her kids, the youngest of whom is just two, at home while she goes away with her husband to get the care she needs.
“Would you leave a child of this age? I’m terrified of the psychological damage I might do to her,” she wrote.
“My husband could stay with the children but I have to have someone with me (they won’t let me have it done without a carer) so I would have to find someone else which would be almost impossible or pay for a carer.
“Selfishly I can’t imagine going through it without my dh [dear husband] being with me, it’s a tough treatment with chemo, central lines and all sorts. I feel I have to have it done and the sooner the better but I’m torn about my youngest.
“Am I being unfair to leave her in this situation? Would you do it or would you wait a year or two until she was better able to understand? Although in that time my condition could seriously deteriorate.”
The sad predicament is the ultimate case of mum guilt but other Mumsnet users were quick to rally around the woman.
Many urged her to look after herself and get the treatment.
“Have the treatment asap. Protecting your heath for the future should be the most important factor.”
“Yes. The alternative will likely have a worse effect. At 2 she will let be upset and won’t understand BUT at that age they will adapt and won’t really remember much afterwards. Waiting would make her more likely to remember and she would likely to still be as upset.”
“I would absolutely have the treatment. In almost any other circumstances I’d say don’t leave her, but the damage of not having her mum would be worse wouldn’t it, and your health comes first.”
“You being there and well is in her long term benefit and massively outweighs this.”
The mum thanked those who commented and said going away with her husband was the ‘only choice’ for the family.
“I’m so shocked I honestly thought everyone would say I was terribly selfish and to put her first,” she wrote.
How would you handle having to split your family up in an emergency? Join the conversation in the Facebook comments or on Twitter.
