This is too real.
Mother-of-two, Olivyah Bowens, shared an emotional post on Instagram talking about her experience loving a child that she never planned to have.
Olivyah’s pregnancy with her oldest child, Ozara, was unplanned. The post shows Ozara, now two, in the middle of throwing a tantrum.
Olivyah’s poignant beginning to the caption reads: “No one teaches you to love a child you didn’t plan to have.”
It seems bleak but she goes on to talk about the effect her daughter had on her life and the way motherhood changed her.
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It is a post that can speak to all mothers, especially young mothers, whether their pregnancies were planned or unplanned.
She writes:
“The reality is I don’t want to be a mother everyday. I don’t want to feel held back from chasing my dreams and goals. I don’t want to be exhausted. But I KNOW this little girl has brought me face to face with things that would have otherwise been ignored in my bubbles of childless freedom.”
Every mother has days when they long for a different life, times when they wonder what their path would have been had they not had a child, maybe even a few moments of resentment.
Olivyah talks about the difficulty of dealing with these feelings. In particular, with an unplanned pregnancy, it’s hard to make the transition from unwanted pregnancy to wanted and loved baby.
Olivyah writes:
“It’s confusing. When the same people who told you that you pretty much ruined your life are smiling ear to ear at your baby shower a few months later.”
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Having a baby is wonderful thing but no matter how much planning a mother has done before the pregnancy or the birth, nothing can prepare you for a whole person’s life suddenly being entirely dependant on you.
In her emotional post, Olivyah encourages mothers to embrace all aspects of motherhood, including those moments of feeling unsure or overwhelmed.
“Dear mama, who is going through an unplanned pregnancy, don’t feel guilty, don’t feel afraid, don’t feel ashamed. That baby chose YOU to be it’s [sic] mothers at the perfect time. Surrender to the joy of unpredictability and let this new being show you a whole new part of yourself you didn’t know was there.”
