Yesterday was World Autism Day.
The occasion reminds us that some mums and dads have very different parenting experiences to the rest of us.
When someone in your life is rearing or looks after a child with special needs, it’s hard to even begin to understand how we can help.
We’re all guilty of silently wondering just how they manage to do what they do, but it’s best not to say that aloud.
That’s according to one mum who has just shared what she wishes other parents knew about raising a child with special needs.
Jennifer Jeppson is a mum-of-three with two children on the autism spectrum.
She recently penned a heartfelt message on how other parents can support families with special needs.
“Please don’t put me on a pity pedestal,” she wrote on Instagram.
“That, ‘I couldn’t do what you do everyday – I’d go crazy.’ ‘They are lucky they have you because I couldn’t do it.’ I know those comments are well meaning. Truly, I do. But, frankly, I have never felt like intervening and helping our children was a choice we had. It’s always been something that we’ve HAD to do.
“Those comments can feel isolating at times.
“Maybe say, ‘I really admire all you do for your children.’ Or, ‘they are so lucky to have a mom that loves them so much.’ Just make it a positive.”
If you’ve ever considered helping out, Jennifer added, just do it.
“My life gets so bogged down with things that I am always so grateful for when someone reaches out to me. At times, I can be sooo drained that I can’t even think about maintaining friendships. It’s not that I don’t want to, but it’s hard. Reach out and do.”
She also asked that we cut parents of special needs kids some slack.
“If I forget to send a thank you, am slow to call back or respond to text, chalk it up to how overwhelmed I am,” she wrote.
“If I am quiet at a dinner or seem off, I am most likely trying my best to stifle my very tender and raw emotions. And I promise to do it too.”
She admitted that she can feel envious of other parents
“Sometimes I am jealous. I’m jealous at your life unencumbered by therapy and doctors and school meetings and evaluations. I’m grateful you don’t spend hours on the phone fighting with the insurance company or hours filling out paperwork.
“I know you have your hard stuff too. But you hopefully had a choice to get busy with lessons, etc., which is such a blessing. The fact that your children can do those things is a blessing, which we can easily forget.”
You can read Jennifer’s full post here.
