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6th December 2019
11:14am GMT

"In all the years I’ve been speaking publicly, I’ve never seen a man singlehandedly have to balance caring for a child while preparing to speak on stage or do a panel. I’ve never seen him walking a baby in a pram in the hopes they’ll sleep just before the event starts so it can all be done without interruption. Men generally don’t have to think about those things, because they have women doing it for them. I’ve breastfed my son on stages, rocked him in a carrier, let him crawl around at my feet and been greatly supported by volunteers or friends who’ve entertained him off stage. With only one exception, all of these village members have been women. "
Ford went on to speak about something that I've often experienced myself as a working mum. It's not something that I've come across in my current workplace but in other jobs when a problem has arisen at home or I couldn't attend a work night out there was very much an attitude of 'why are you even here? You chose to have kids go home to them and let someone else have this job.'
Like Ford it's not an attitude I've ever seen being taken with men. My husband is a father as much as I am a mother but no one ever asks him why he's not at home with his children or why he chooses to work when he's a parent.
"Shamefully, it took me becoming a mother myself to really understand this. That’s the way it is with most people it seems. Out of sight, out of mind. You bloody chose to have those kids! Etc. Except that men are not at all excluded or punished for becoming parents the way that women are excluded and punished for becoming *mothers*. And the lengths we go to minimise the presence of our children or apologise for them is really telling. It’s a very white thing. I suggested last night that all public forums need to include childcare in their budgets. Not just for speakers, but for attendees too. It should become the norm! Communities INCLUDE children. They belong in spaces like these too. "I completely agree that more workplaces and colleges should have childcare options in place so that more parents can return to education and work without the worry of who will look after their child for those few hours. It's important that we start to treat parents with more respect and consideration especially since they are helping to raise the next generation.
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