Mum sparks debate after asking if Mother’s Day expectations are ‘unreasonable’

A mum turned to the internet for advice about Mother's Day, fearing that she had been "unreasonable" with her expectations.

The woman explained on Mumsnet that she had been hoping for a card, flowers and a cup of tea for her first Mother's Day. Explaining that she does "99% of the childcare alone", she said that she feels she has made it clear how important the occasion is to her. But her partner's reaction to her request was not quite what she expected. She wrote on Mumsnet:

"So it will be my first Mother's Day as a Mum on Sunday, I've told OH [other half] that I'm expecting a card, flowers and a cuppa in bed while he gets up with LO [little one], he says I'm not his mother why would he get me a gift! "I do 99% of the childcare alone as he works away and I think I've made it clear to him that it's important to me and I'm hoping he will do something. "Is this unreasonable? Does your OH do anything for you?"

Plenty of parents were quick to jump in on the matter, with many mums saying they expected something - even something small - for Mother's Day. One person said:

"I’m expecting DP to get me a card and token present from the baby and we’re going for lunch out. I’m also hoping for a peaceful cup of tea in bed in the morning. "I did the same for him on Father’s Day."

Another wrote:

"DH has already got a card and a small gift in. I only know because of the 'don't look in this gift bag in the wardrobe!'. "He'll often cook breakfast and I'll get a lie in if he's not working. I do the same on fathers day. Our DS is at nursery now so will make a card there too. "I'd be upset if we didn't acknowledge these days. It's just a small reminder that everything we do is appreciated. As much as we try to remind each other all the time in other ways, it doesn't always happen so I think it's nice to have one day. "

Someone else said:

"DH has always bought me a gift and card from himself as well as DS. This year DS is buying his own gift and card for me as he's 17 and has a part time job, but I know DH is giving me money to treat myself as he's housebound at the moment due to illness. "He will probably ask DS to buy a card for me from him too."

A different mum commented:

"My friend's exH (she's been divorced for at least 15 years and they have both remarried) thanks her every year for being such a good mum to their DC with a card and gifts!"

Others said that while they wouldn't expect something from their partner necessarily, they could understand where the woman was coming from. One of the mums said:

"No. I dont do anything for him on fathers day either. We just arent really bothered about them. "If I was then my husband would do something, because when you love someone you want to do the little things that mean something to them even if it isnt something you give a shit about. "Maybe you could tell him that is how you feel?"

Another said:

"He isn't getting you a gift, he's getting a gift on behalf of your baby. "I really don't understand why a loving partner wouldn't put themselves out, especially for your first Mothers' Day. "My husband always has done, and does a little something on his own behalf for me even now our children are old enough to sort themselves out, because he loves me and appreciates what I do for our children."

Someone else wrote:

"I doubt dh will do anything but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. "He's great with birthdays, and he's doing his fair share with the house and kids and he's kind and generous to me (most of the time!) throughout the year. That's important to me. But we don't really "do" any other special days. "But since you've told him that mother's day is important to you, I hope he comes up with something nice to spoil you. Especially since it's your first."