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04th Apr 2019

Mum starts massive debate after admitting that she has a ‘favourite’ child

Keeley Ryan

lessons to teach your children

A mum-of-two started a debate after asking if it was “normal” to have a favourite child.

The woman explained on Mumsnet that while she tries to hide her feelings, she feels she is trying to “force a bond I just can’t make” with her older son.

Explaining how she was “ashamed” to admit she has a favourite child, the woman said:

“I have 2 sons and the oldest (3) is a real struggle for me and has been from day one. He is so intense and determined and he really overwhelms me. My dh is blessed with patience and really does a lot more of the hard graft. They have a great bond.

“I really enjoy my second son (18 months), I feel like I understand him perfectly and I am 100% the most qualified to care for him in any situation.

“I try really hard to disguise my feelings. For example I always take my older son shopping, just the 2 of us, and allow him to scan the shop.

“I organise lots of play dates but I feel like I am really trying to force a bond I just can’t make.

“My own mother was cruelly unfair to my older sister and I really thought I could be a bigger person. Has anyone else ever felt like this?”

The reaction was pretty split, with some of her fellow Mumsnet users admitting they felt their own children.

One person said:

“I love my two oldest teens to bits. They are kind, caring, funny and good company.

“My youngest, however, is nothing like any of us and I don’t really like him very much.”

Someone else claimed it was “human nature”, adding:

“I don’t love them any differently I just prefer parenting one of my girls over the other.

“She is a joy to be around whilst my other is very difficult and always has been.”

Other people said that they found the thread to be “scary” and disagreed with the mum’s sentiments.

A different parent wrote:

“Honestly? There is absolutely nothing a pre-schooler could do, or present with, or behave like, which would make them less in need of – or deserving of – whole-hearted love from his or her mother.”

Another Mumsnet user commented:

“Oh god this thread is scary. Those poor babies. ‘Oh but I don’t show it’ – yes you do.”