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Parenting

07th Sep 2018

Mum-to-be ‘livid’ after husband invites estranged mum-in-law to watch her give birth

Keeley Ryan

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A mum-to-be was left “livid” after her husband invited his estranged mum to be in the hospital when she gave birth.

The woman, posting under the name Danielle on NetMums, explained that they don’t often speak to her husband’s family.

In fact, she said, “most of them still haven’t even acknowledged I’m pregnant and I’m now 38 weeks.”

She went on to say that she doesn’t have a great relationship with her husband’s family, but is polite to them when they do speak.

The mum-to-be recalled how his estranged mum reached out to him recently, claiming that she felt disconnected to him as they don’t often talk.

She continued:

“Anyway hubby has only gone and told her she’s welcome at the hospital whilst I’m giving birth. I’m absolutely livid.

“I was so angry and upset I just hung up on him and burst into tears.

“He rang me back and said well your mums going to be there. I said that’s completely different.

“I’ve invited my mum, I have no issue with my mum seeing my vagina, seeing me scream in pain and push a human out, to put it bluntly.

“But to invite his mum is a whole different situation. I said no way and he said well I’ve already told her so I can’t really say no now.”

She went on to try and explain to her husband just how personal and embarrassing the whole birthing experience would be for her – but he just laughed.

Her post continued:

“I’ve just said to him it’s like me stripping him naked and making him lie on a bed for a few hours with everyone staring at him. How would he like it and he just laughed.

“I’m still sat her crying, I can’t believe he would do that. I’ve just said to him I’ll ban him from being in the room too ( obviously I wouldn’t do that )

“His mum is the sort though to just turn up at the hospital and think it’s ok because it’s her sons wife giving birth.

“He’s really not getting it, it’s our first baby and even though he doesn’t see or speak to his mum often he said I don’t want to upset her but I just said well I’m upset now.”

Mums soon flooded the comments with support for the mum-to-be, offering advice on her situation.

One person said:

“That delivery room is your space.

“It it were me I would tell him he will not be attending the birth if he doesn’t get on board with your preferences, as a birth partner his ONLY job is keeping you as happy as can be on that day.”

Another added:

“I think for men they don’t quite see it as we do, it’s not them having to give birth! They just tend to think about the baby part.

“He will just have to take back the offer an explain that you obviously don’t want everyone there when you have all your bits and pieces out, then you won’t be stressing about her rocking up.

“Even after coming home the day after giving birth, I didn’t want any visitors, I was exhausted and went straight to bed, she has been there herself so should understand anyway.”