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Parenting

15th Dec 2019

A mum’s beautiful reminder why we need to be extra patient with our kids at Christmas

Trine Jensen-Burke

kids at Christmas

This morning, in the chaos that is trying to get out the door in time for school, making sure we have books, lunch boxes, reading glasses, that note about missing swimming over a sore throat, the envelope of money for teacher’s presents – I snapped.

I shouted at my children – because they just weren’t listening and the hallway was a mess and I was stressed because I had been up late the night before and almost forgot to move the elf – and you know yourself – because we are all the same, mums. Especially this time a year.

December is manic – for all of us.

For our children too. And I just came across this beautiful reminder a UK mum shared about why we need to maybe cut our children some extra slack this time a year – and remember that December is intense, for all of us.

In the imagined words of her young son, Ester Sowerby wrote:

“Be kind to me this Christmas… from a little person’s point of view:

– You’ve probably let me eat more sugar than usual – I’m bound to have higher highs and lower lows.

– In the holidays I’m out of routine – I can cope better with transitions when I know exactly what’s coming next so please explain our plans for the day clearly to me.

– The anticipation of Christmas can be pretty overwhelming and exhausting. Help me to rest by keeping to my normal bedtimes.

– Travelling at Christmas is stressful for all of us. When possible, be flexible about when we travel and check the traffic before we leave.

– I have no idea about the value of money – if there’s no way I can have that giant lego set for Christmas, then please tell me well before Christmas morning. I’ll have time to get over my disappointment and I’ll learn to trust your honesty.

– Grown-ups find preparing for Christmas stressful. I know you want it to be perfect for me so I’ll have memories I can cherish forever. But I see you getting stressed, sometimes even before you do. I pick up on it and reflect it like a mirror. Please slow down, notice me, talk to me, play with me. That’s what I’ll remember.

– When I lose it, and I probably will at some point, please don’t make me ashamed of my feelings by shouting at me. I never set out to deliberately disappoint you and I didn’t try to ruin your Christmas. I’m really not that calculated. I’m just a little person whose brain deals with stress in different ways to yours. Please try to understand me, from my point of view.

And when all else fails, wrap your arms around me and hold me so I feel the strength of your love.”