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Parenting

28th Oct 2017

Granny asks mum to change newborn’s name for a sad reason

What should she do?

Amanda Cassidy

Choosing a baby name is hard enough but now this new mama is facing a serious dilemma.

Appealing to mums on parent forum Mumsnet, she explains how they found the perfect name until her granny pointed something she’d never thought of before.

She decided to name her daughter Luca because she liked the meaning behind it. However, her own mother had passed away after battling leukaemia. While this may seem like quite a stretch to some, her gran said it reminds her of the illness which took her own daughter and asked her to change it.

”[My husband] and I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it’s generally used as a boy’s name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means ‘light,” she explained.

”Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase ‘dirty Luca’ then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name because it reminds her of Leukaemia.”

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it’s a bit different but now I can’t stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia”

Many of the parents on the forum had not heard of the phrase ‘dirty Luca’ at all.

Some people agreed that there was an issue.

”As soon as you said she’d died from Leukaemia though I thought the name also reminded me of it though I’m afraid. I think if it was a few years down the line then it wouldn’t have the link so much but it only happened last summer so still very fresh,” One person said.

”As for similarities to Leukaemia.. I don’t think you could of picked something more similar name-wise if you tried. No wonder granny is upset,” Another said.

Many people, however, did not agree with the grandmother.

”Don’t listen to granny. Luca sounds lovely. It fits with all the popular names out there while being different,” One person said.

”It’s lovely and more importantly it’s her name now. Done. Everyone can keep their objections to themselves,” another supportive person added.

Ultimately, most people agreed that if she was changing her baby’s name it should purely be her decision, and not influenced by someone else’s comments.

”She’ll get over it. If you are set on the name then use it unapologetically.”

”You can name your baby whatever you like and as she already has her name, you should simply ignore any comments.”

”Change your daughter’s name is you want, not because of what anybody else says.”

”It’s your baby, so you should call her what you like,” the comments read.

What a difficult situation – what would you do? Let us know in the Facebook comments.