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30th October 2024
04:44pm GMT
Her child is 18-months older than his younger twin siblings and he gets “very angry” from time to time.
“We get periods where it seems to improve and then disimproves,” she told Newstalk.
“It’s usually sparked by something one of the twins has done or by having to share my attention with them.
“We’ve a good routine and I incorporate one-on-one time each day with them using and egg timer but it seems no matter what I do, he always wants more.
“For the last couple of months, his anger outbursts have been more violent and unpredictable.”
The mum went on to say that sometimes they have to “physically restrain him” so that he stops hitting or kicking his younger siblings.
Giving the worried mum some advice, Parenting Expert Joanna Fortune said that it could be the age difference that he’s finding hard to cope with.
“He really only had you to himself for a little time and then he had to share you not with one baby but two and the demands of twins.
“He might always be carrying a little bit of, ‘these two got in the way of my lovely like’’
“When you’re talking about these outbursts that he’s having, always hold in mind that children who are developmentally under seven, we shouldn’t expect them to self-regulate.
“In other words, we don’t expect them to calm themselves down, to be in charge of their emotions, to be able to work things out themselves - they can’t do that.”
This means that parents need to be able to help their children to calm down and explain ways of coping when they get mad.
By giving them good examples to follow, they’ll eventually be able to adapt and cope with time.
“When you’re restraining him - and I’m understanding that as physically holding him so that he can’t hurt anything - try to not do a lot of talking,” she said.
“Try to turn that holding into, ‘I’m keeping you safe, I’m going to hold you until your body feels calm and do some gentle swaying and rocking.’
“If it feels like you’re physically restraining him, his body will pull against you… You might get away with that when they’re six but when he gets physically bigger and stronger, that’s not going to work.”
Another thing that Joanna said could be adding to his frustration is the natural “sibling rivalry”.
“You’ve only one school class between them as well. You’re saying it’s usually sparked by something one of the twins has done or having to share your attention with them.
“I think that is the crux of this whole issue to begin with but you are able to identify a pattern to what’s triggering him with that.
“Great that you’re incorporating one-on-one time each day - that’s amazing with three kids who are so close in age.
“When you say you’re using an egg timer; try to make sure that the focus of that one-on-one time if on him, rather than the timer
“Try not to be so rigid with that if you can because he’s just focused on the time going, he’s not actually being present with you.”
Joanna then went on to say if issues persist, she should contact a psychotherapist who will be able to look into his behaviour on a more detailed level.
