Kids don’t give a damn who’s listening
Kids. You spend years looking forward to the moment they can chat to you, then many more years wondering if they’re ever going to stop talking for just one second. Especially when there are other people around. Thing is, kids don’t give a damn about who’s listening; if something needs to be said, there’s no better time than the present.
We asked our readers to spill on their most mortifying statements. As usual, you didn’t disappoint:
1. My four-year-old had just had chickenpox. We were at a friend’s wedding when he spotted a teenage girl in the pew behind us, pointed at her acne and exclaimed: ‘Look Mom! Look at all her chickenpox! Eeeeuuuwww!”
-Jenna Brophy
2. “My six-year-old told his whole class ‘My mummy farts when she sleeps’. Mortified.
-Rebecca Murphy
3. “My three-year-old announced (very loudly) in a crowded park full of judgey parents ‘The baby still has a bruise on her face, that’s from when you threw her down the stairs!’ The more I protested my innocence, the louder he got! For the record I’ve never thrown my kids down the stairs, the bruise in question was from when he pushed her off the table!”
-Sarah Charlotte Aitken-Cormack
4. “I whispered very loudly in a public transport to my Mom: ‘that woman’s hair is soooo long she doesn’t need any toilet paper’. Granted her hair was over bum length and I was about three-years-old.”
-Andrea Neumann
5. “When my son shouted ‘Lawnmower!’ and started running towards a woman in a wheelchair in the park, being pushed over the grass. Luckily the woman and her husband had a sense of humour. My son really loved lawnmowers.
– Lisa Mags Ryan
6.
@HerFamilydotie Small but loud nephew at hushed airport departure gate: “Mum I’ve got a really itchy bum”. Sister nearly died! #HerFamMorto
— Christine Doc (@42monty42) September 8, 2015
7. “My youngest had a check-up with the nurse. She had just started solids and we were having a bit of a problem with her eating – the night before the check-up she didn’t eat dinner. While the nurse was talking to me, my four-year-old daughter said ‘My Mammy didn’t feed my sister yesterday!’ I started stuttering from shock, the nurse just stared at me.” – Annie Donnelly
8.
@HerFamilydotie My nephew screamed “Help, Kidnapper” when I tried to take him out of a shop for having a hissy fit #Mortified #HerFamMorto — Michelle Murphy (@mich_m78) September 8, 2015
9. “I was in Dublin Zoo with my kids and we were walking along when two nice Muslim women came towards us dressed in burkas. When they got right beside us my little girl (four at the time) pointed and them, saying ‘Wow Mammy, look at the two ninjas!’ They were way more polite about it than they had to be.”
-Marina Skelly
10.
@HerFamilydotie#herfammorto my son picked up a pack of sanitary pads in aldi and loudly said “Mom do you need some of your nappies” — Steph Salmon (@ForeverWest14) September 8, 2015