"The difference between
can’t and
don’t (or
won’t) is the difference between feeling powerless and feeling in control," says the money expert.
"Using the word
can’t eliminates active choice. It’s a shortcut we often use to end another exhausting nagging session, but it’s not a good one. We want kids to recognise the financial options available to them. We want them to recognise that things are within their reach - even luxury items."
Most importantly, says Filipich, we should aim to teach children to make good choices about their money so that when they discover that actually, yes, they
can afford a thing, they actively decide if it’s the right thing to do.
"Saying
can’t robs them of that chance to make a good choice."
Instead, she says, we should try:
- That’s not in our spending plan.
- If we buy that, we’ll have to give up X
- I don’t think that's a good use of our money.
When conversations like this happen in front of or with your kids, you get the chance to embed some financial know-how and empowerment.
"Your kids are already learning about money from you in the same way they learn language: through watching you, listening to you, and copying you. They’re doing it right now. Your words and actions are already building the patterns of their future behaviour."
