Search icon


09th Sep 2018

Have any of these in your playroom? You might be a posh parent

Tatler has released a list of must-haves for well-to-do parents.

Anna O'Rourke

Does you child have a rocking horse? Or a doll’s house?

Well, you might just be a posh parent.

Sorry to have broken it to you so indelicately, but you may as well know.

Tatler has compiled a list of the things it thinks all ‘posh parents’ have in their nurseries and it’s an interesting read to say the least.

If you thought a solid gold soother or a €14,600 kids’ bed were indicators that you were a well-to-do mum or dad, think again.

The list, featuring things like ‘old books’ and a woodlouse (*shudder*) reads like a description of a nursery in an Enid Blyton story but, according to Tatler at least, still applies today.

These are the items that make you a posh parent – feel free to play along at home.

If you have six or more, pour yourself a nice big glass of Bollinger or go for a celebratory joy ride in the Range Rover. Just don’t try both.

A rocking horse – because posh people love horses.

A doll’s house – one handed down through generations, rather than the flashy plastic one the child actually wants, apparently.

Sylvanian Families – AKA the little rabbits that you alway saw in the Argos catalogue but never actually got.

Old books – including titles like Just William, Treasure Island and anything by Beatrix Potter “likely held together by Sellotape so ancient it has gone yellow and brittle,” says Tatler. We’d like to see an old yellow copy of Peter Rabbit compete with an iPad, no matter how posh your family is.

A woodlouse – no exotic reptiles or fluffy chihuahuas for you, posh child. He’ll be kept as a pet live in a matchbox until he dies and is thrown out.

Conkers – further proof that the people at Tatler live in the 1940s.

A dress-up box – because imagination is the preserve of the middle classes.

A piggy bank – containing coins from the tooth fairy but never, ever any notes because posh people are smart with their money.

A school – i.e. a line of stuffed animals that act as pupils while your child plays teacher.