When I at 28 fell pregnant with my little girl (completely unplanned, I might add), I was in equal measure delighted and excited, but also terrified.
I mean; being a mum is a
big deal, right? And much as I have always been a total baby-person, and have super-sensitive ovaries that will literally skip at beat at anything from pregnant bellies and One Born Every Minute, to dads running after toddlers in the park, I was still worried about, when it came down to it, how good of a mum would I
be?
Fast forward six years and I
think I'm doing a pretty good job of it – much as there is always, as with most things, room for improvement, of course.
Type A, over-thinking, perfectionist me have learned some harsh lessons about accepting the chaos and crazy that comes with family life, and come out the other side with happier kids (and a messier house).
There are a
lot of skills that will help you ace motherhood, and sure they can be learned, but if you already, pre-motherhood, inhibit some of these, you are laughing, mamas:
1. You like to make people happy
This one is pretty essential, I think. I mean; you are going to be raising humans and you want them to not only have the most wonderful childhood to look back at, but also turn out to be happy, confident and just a pleasure-to-be-around adults. If you are a Negative Nelly, the-glass-is-half-empty kind of a person, chances are that not only will this attitude will rub off on the kids, but everyone else will find you quite draining to have to deal with as you navigate the chaos that is motherhood too.
2. You are fine with carting around a suitcase-sized handbag every time you leave the house
When you have a baby, and indeed children, you will find that gone are the days when you could throw your lipstick and phone in your (tiny) bag, and skip out the door. Oh no, that does not fly when you are someone's mum. Now you have to at all times make sure you have nappies, wipes, soothers, breast pumps, a phone or iPad filled with things to entertain them so you actually get anything done, two sippy cups, 4000 packets or raisins, spare clothes (for baby
and you), power unit to emergency charge phone when it dies mid Kinder Egg opening video on Youtube,
3. You Can Keep (Somewhat) Calm in a Crisis
Now, we're not saying you aren't allowed to freak out of something
really serious happens; but you will need to develop a steely approach to scraped knees/cushions drawn on with black marker/nosebleeds/spilled anything/snots stains on clothes/projectile vomiting and many many more I'm-a-mother-now scenarios.
4. You always have snacks on hand
With young children, (healthy) snacks are
essential. As in, you should never leave the house without them and never venture anywhere where you are more than four minutes away from somewhere selling something edible. Sometimes it's for reasons of pure bribery, other times because when it comes to children, the line between peckish and psychopathic ravenous is a very thin one indeed...
5. You can comfort people
There will be a lot of comforting, trust me. Under-bed monsters, scraped elbows, sibling pressed the lift button; the list is endless. If you were one of those girls who always had to comfort your drunken friends when they were feeling a little nostalgic and weepy, or when someone had broken up with their boyfriends, you will rock motherhood.
6. You don't sweat at the small stuff
Black marker on the wall? Spaghetti bolognaise in the carpet? Inside of car covered in 7000 raisins? You take it like a mama.
7. You're bendy
Your arm can bend back into the backseat of the car to hand you children juice cartons/iPads/toast in an angle you never pre-children thought was possible.
8. You can dish out some authority when needed
You are a fun, happy-go-lucky mama, but boy, when one of your children clatter one of the other ones over the head with an entire clay pottery set, you also know how to set them straight about acceptable behaviour.
9. You can handle blood, puke and poop
Motherhood involves all of the above. At very inconvenient times. Sometimes in huge quantities. Stay strong.
10. You have a really good dry-cleaner
You will need one.
Clearly a whole lot of other qualities are needed to when it comes to raising children, but we think these ones are a good start. Which ones have YOU got to add? Let us know in the comments.
