You know how us mums are forever harping on about how we need All The Coffee, and how we are too exhausted to even attempt to do our hair and how we own a disproportional amount of yoga pants – simply because we don’t even have the energy to root out real clothes?
But why, ladies? Why are we so tired all the time (let’s look away from the fact that some of us have babies who don’t sleep, and, therefore, are tired just simply because we haven’t slept).
Here are some theories that might enlighten you – and make you feel a little less guilty about those yoga pants!
1. We are hyper-vigilant
Us mums are always on, aren’t we? Hyper-vigilance is defined as “an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats.”
Meaning, we are always trying to scan our surroundings and make sure everywhere and everything is as safe as safe can be for our children. In other words, we live in a permanent fight-of-flight mode – no wonder we are so bloody exhausted!
Children, in their ignorant bliss, don’t perceive dangers lurking, and so we, as their mothers, do this for them, performing a constant scanning service to try and make sure every room and surface and item that our children come into contact with is safe and won’t harm them. And even when the house is baby-proofed to within an inch of its life, sure we can still not be sure they won’t try to launch themselves off bookshelves or drink toilet water.
In fact, even when we sleep, we are aware, and this, physiologically, is exhausting.
2. We have no time to ourselves
When you spend all your time being focused on someone else, it can, little by little, drain your energy. Especially if you constantly forget to pencil in some me-time to counter-balance this. Before I had my babies, I had only myself to think about (having even off-loaded the cat onto my parents, as I found having him was too much of a responsibility.) Hah. Little did I know!
Now? Now I consider myself lucky if I get to shower without an audience, never mind drink a cup of coffee without having to jump up to look for lost Barbie shoes or wipe somebody’s bum.
We all know it can be hard to squeeze in, but scheduling some time every week that is just for you, be it a yoga class or a nap (while husband takes the kids to the park) or lunch with a friend, will leave you feeling refreshed and recharged.
3. We are always multi-tasking
To keep the show on the road when you are a mum (the show being kids, school, work, playdates, lunchboxes, ballet classes, etc.), you need to develop some kick-ass multi-tasking skills.
The thing is, much as the ability to multi-task keep our heads above water, it is also leaving us wrecked.
The solution? Practice focusing on one task at a time, slow down, smell the roses (or coffee, smell the coffee…) and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember you don’t have to do it all alone to be a good mama. A knackered mum is no good to anyone, least of all yourself.
How do YOU make room for me-time, mamas? Join in the conversation with us on Twitter at @Herfamilydotie.
