How long can one actually claim rookie status? Six months, a year? The Child is nearly 2-years-old so I admit that I am not technically a rookie parent anymore and yet when observed changing a nappy I still look like a total beginner, only without the beginner's luck. If you have yet to master the subtle art of the patented 5 Step Rookie-style nappy-change then allow me to enlighten you.
Rookie's guide to changing a nappy in 5 easy steps
Step 1
Determine that the nappy does, in fact, need changing. This can be achieved by measuring the "sag" (the closer the crotch of the nappy is to the child's knee the longer overdue the nappy change is) or with the sniff test, though more often than not, the smell will find you before you have to go looking for it.
Step 2
Find another chore that needs attention so that your co-parent is compelled to field the nappy. This can't be something easy like putting the kettle on, it must be unpleasant in direct proportion to changing a dirty nappy. Putting the bins out is good. If it's not bin day proceed to Step 3.
Step 3
Assess the house for the optimum position before removing the soiled nappy. Near some clean laundry or a stack of recently sorted bills and receipts is always a good bet.
Step 4
Remove the nappy ensuring that the wipes, Caldesene Powder and new nappy are completely out of arm's reach. Making sure the baby is safe, retrieve the necessary items and return to find the baby has thoughtfully begun the cleaning process utilising the clean laundry or electricity bill.
Step 5
Hastily, complete the clean up and secure a clean nappy on the baby. Feel a profound sense of relief that you are one nappy closer to potty training. Mop your brow and discover later that there was residual poo on your hand which is now on your head. Result.
Rookie's guide to changing a nappy in 5 easy steps is brought to you by Caldesene Medicated Powder. Recognised as safe and effective by mums and doctors in preventing nappy rash and treating prickly heat and chafing. No messy creams or gels needed, just gentle powder you can use with every nappy change. Visit www.caldesene.ie for more information. 
