Every parent wants to encourage their child from the sidelines, but how do you avoid crossing the line and becoming ‘that’ shouting parent who believes every match is a televised final?
We have all encountered a mum or dad who takes their children’s sport wayyyyyy too seriously. Shouting at the ref, adding their ‘coaching skills’ from the sidelines (even though they’re not actually a coach) and distracting their own son or daughter with constant instruction. It’s not pleasant to listen to as another adult, God knows what it’s like for their child.
At the end of the day, parents should know better – however enthusiastic they might be about their budding Cristiano Ronaldo or Anna Geary – and learn to control themselves.
Focus on feelings, not on results
The next time your son or daughter walks off the pitch or arrives home from a match, try substituting questions like “did you win?” and “did you score?” for “did you have fun? or “what went well for you?”. This will allow your child to objectively assess both the situation and their performance as more than just good or bad. This kind of self-evaluation and feedback is extremely important for kids in terms of learning to anchor their feelings and emotions, identify their successes and areas that need improvement, and above all for self-confidence.
Both for grownups and children alike, verbalising our experiences and talking over what we have just done, allows us to become self-aware – a significant skill in the game of life and in sport.
For children to be happily engaged in any sport, they need to feel positive about it, have space to learn new techniques and strategies, and that they belong to a team. It is a parent’s role to remain supportive both when these boxes are all being ticked and when they are not.
Sport allows children to experience every possible kind of emotion, that children have to gradually learn to manage by themselves; be with them for that, but don’t add to it unnecessarily from the sidelines.
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