Family mornings can be hectic, I am sure we can all agree, between trying to get everyone dressed, fed and out the door in the space of about an hour – at most.
It's back to school time and to anyone who has ever tried to get themselves showered and made-up while also trying to negotiate outfit choices with a glitter-loving five-year-old and talk a three-year-old down from the kitchen counter where he has decided to go looking for the Cheerios you just told him there is none left of, you know what I mean by hectic.
What can
really slow things down, certainly in my household, is trying to actually hurry things along and bark at everyone to hurry up. I am sure you are all familiar with the Murphy's Law of parenting that states how nothing slows children down like being told to hurry up, mamas?
Needless to say I think we all breathe a sigh of relief when everyone is finally strapped into their car seats and you are ready to go.
Anyway, it seems I have been making one big mistake according to
Parent.com when it comes to how I handle mornings – and when I think about it, it actually makes all sorts of sense.
What am I doing wrong? Apparently, I should have started the day with something very important: Connection.
The idea, the website argues, comes from parenting book,
The Whole-Brain Child,“ where authors Siegel and Bryson argue that children need to start their days with a generous helping of 'connection,' – by which they mean cuddles and hugs, or maybe just sitting together on the sofa, even just for a few moments.
The reason is rather simple – and when you think about it, it makes all sorts of sense, really.
Connection, on a very basic level, helps children feel grounded and ready for their day – almost like you are charging up their batteries. And if you in the midst of the morning mania is jumping straight into trying to hurry them along, it is almost as if you are trying to use a phone that you never bothered to charge first.
Children have growing brains, and by allowing this connection first thing, you are essentially tending to them on the most basic level. And by trying this approach, you will probably find your mornings running a lot smoother and with less conflict.
Ever tried negotiating with tired children? I know I have, and I know it is hardly very effective. This all comes from this same reason.
The reason "charging their batteries" first thing makes sense – by cuddles, hugs or even just some kind words – is that you are then making them feel attached and secure, and this will literally make their brain work better. In other words, they are more inclined to go along with the morning routine and be their happy, sweetest selves.
Humans, in general, respond better to kindness, and if you have been in the parenting game for a while you will know this is true. My mum always used to say "you catch more flies with honey" and really, this is true. I know I have diffused many a tantrum by offering a hug or a little cuddle. The power of touch – and time – is amazing, and might just set your entire day off to a better start.
So go on; take five minutes for snuggles – you don't have time not to.
