I used to have a preconceived idea of the kind of parent I would be.
If I'm totally honest, I also used to be a bit judgemental. Watching mums feed their babies puree from jars and pouches, I'd think about all the amazing homemade food I was going to spend time making for my future baby. Because that's what amazing mums do...
Yeah, I thought I had this parenthood malarkey all worked out. And then I had a baby. The reality of motherhood kicked in and I soon found myself doing some of the very things I said I'd never do.
I also quickly realised a lot of that shit doesn't actually matter. That really the most important thing is to be the best mum you know how - even if that means feeding your baby amazing spaghetti bolognese somebody else amazing made.
Here are just some of the things I said I'd never do as a parent (but in reality, totally do)...
1. Use the TV as a babysitter
Not literally - if ONLY Peppa Pig's capabilities extended beyond the reach of the television screen - but if it wasn't for that irritating little pink sausage, simple things like wearing something other than my pyjamas from the night before may have become a thing of the past.
2. Leave the house without make-up on
Some days, when I've exhausted all my distraction methods, I am forced to brave the great outdoors without so much as a scrap of slap on my face. It's not that I'm vain (okay, maybe a bit), but I'm just not fortunate enough to be able to pull off the bare-faced look. I much prefer to camouflage all the sleep deprivation, but, frightening as I might look, some days it just ain't worth the hassle.
3. Let my baby sleep in my bed because it's just easier
I read all about the benefits of co-sleeping when I was pregnant, but the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do was bring the baby into the bed just because I was too tired to put her back down in the cot. I used to think that caving into 'convenient co-sleeping' was lazy and creating a rod for your own back; I know now that it is purely a survival tactic. Plus, I'm enjoying the cuddles while they last. That's what I tell myself when a starfish-shaped gassy toddler takes over our king-sized bed.
4. Talk about poo and boobs, freely. To strangers
Once you've pushed out a baby in a room full of (medical) strangers, nothing is really out of bounds. Especially talking about poo and boobs to people outside your immediate family and friends. When you're breastfeeding, it's fair to say that your boobs aren't your own anymore, anyway. And, let's face it, there's nothing more satisfying or fascinating to a parent than the amount, colour and consistency of their newborn or weaning baby's poo. But that doesn't make it okay, we know.
5. Turn down a night out having dinner in favour of a night in on the sofa
It's not that I prefer the company of fictional TV characters ALL the time, it's just that once I've escaped the chaos of the day relatively unscathed, the only thing I'm fit for is a bit of ogling at Netflix's finest. Yes, a night out having dinner and drinks is a real treat, but when a solo trip to the supermarket feels like an expedition, I have been known to say no to dinner just so I don't have to leave the house again. Sometimes it's just not worth the hangover.
