Having our first baby is a life-altering thing.
To all of a sudden going from being just
you to suddenly being someone's
mam; with all that that entails, it is no wonder it can feel utterly overwhelming at times.
This was what Australian blogger Constance Hall felt too, after having welcomed her first child a few years back. The now mum-of-seven admits she struggled to find balance and not feel so overwhelmed with motherhood and asked her dad how her grandmother possibly had managed to do this with
11 kids. Her father's response was simple yet powerful: she wasn't given half of the pressure that
And her father's response was simple yet very powerful: her grandmother wasn't given half of the pressure that mums today are.
Moved by the simple, yet very profound answer, Constance took to
Facebook to share her thoughts. It was first posted onto Facebook about two years ago but has been doing the rounds again online.
"She didn't have to go to the bank, the supermarket everyday, she wasn't expected to look a million bucks straight after birth, she never put pressure on her kids to have reached all of their milestones by the age of three weeks, and have the house clean," the well-known blogger wrote.
"She just hung out with her kids and enjoyed them."
In contrast, Hall looked at how she and fellow women cope with all of the stress they are put under as mums.
"Well, a lot of us don't actually enjoy our kids and we are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect," she wrote. "To go to the gym, answer that email, pay that bill, cook that organic kale, blend it, get it into a patty so no one knows it's kale, get to the doctors, the washing, gas in the car, colour your god d*mn grays, make the kids lunches because if you order them again you will be JUDGED!"
Does it all sound a little true? Are we so busy being perfect and having all our ducks in a row that we are forgetting to just soak up our babies when they are the very size they are now?
The Australian blogger and author realised that due to all the chaos she was missing out on something more important: Time to be present with her children instead of just half-listening to them while preoccupied with something else.
Apparently, part of what made Hall realise how important it is to block out the other noise when she's with her kids was participating in a simple experiment with other adults.
"We partnered up and told a story; halfway through the story our partners were ordered to stop listening," she explains."They looked away, yawned, preoccupied their minds, replied to an email while we were telling them something we believed interesting. And guess how it made me feel? Boring, embarrassed for not being able to interest anyone, unworthy, and insignificant."
And then she asked the painful question: "Is that what this busy life is making my kids feel?"
What do you think, parents? Do we need to get better at letting go of a lot of other stuff – stop trying to be Super Mum – and simplify our lives, to make room for more time and focus on our kids? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
